31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 12: Limits

Yes, I have limits. Just like in BDSM play, guys in healthy chastity relationships often have limits. I have “soft limits,” things I don’t enjoy or that do nothing for me, but that I will do for my partner’s benefit if we discuss it first. Feminization is one example.

While feminization isn’t a kink for me and not something I find arousing, I will do some of it (e.g. wearing panties if asked). But more extreme (to me) versions of it like appearing in public while wearing makeup, nail polish, women’s clothing, etc. is always a hard no. Those types of activities get into the territory of my “hard limits,” the subject of today’s prompt, things I won’t do under any circumstances. Lucie requested a list of my limits before she locked me the first time, which is what I expect from any responsible domme.

With decades of BDSM play experience before I found chastity something I wanted to explore, I don’t have as many hard limits as someone new to kink. But, despite the level of trust I have developed in Lucie and her judgement, there are still things I consider a no-go.

Obviously, I won’t do anything unlawful that could get me arrested. I won’t do anything that victimizes another living person or thing. For example, I won’t do tasks that inflict my kinks on other non-consenting people. That’s one reason doing public humiliation activities is a hard limit for me. Another reason is public humiliation activities, again to me, are usually closer to degradation than humiliation (or embarrassment) and I’m not into that.

Other hard limits I have include; public exposure (nudity), heavy CBT, heavy pain, and piss play. I could list a few more things, but those I’ve listed represent all the relevant limits in my relationship with Lucie as my keyholder. If you visit the websites of many pro femdoms, you will often find a full page of kinks they will take part in, sometimes just about every sexual “off-road activity” you can imagine. Lucie isn’t like that. She offers only a small, curated list of about a dozen activities for clients to choose from, all activities she enjoys and that she believes can be realistically explored virtually.

With Lucie, all I really had to do to inform her of my hard limits was to tell her which of the activities on her list I had no interest in and wouldn’t do. I also identified activities on the list that were soft limits, things I wouldn’t do without prior negotiation, so I would know what I was agreeing to do.

The purpose of having hard limits is not just because you want to avoid things you might find uninspiring, unethical, repulsive, or illegal. Establishing hard limits is also self-protection. Take heavy CBT, for example.

Heavy CBT involves things like testicle trampling and crushing, heaving beating of the genitals, etc. Those types of activities can be fine for masochist submissive guys who enjoy that level of pain. But things you might do with some measure of safety when you’re not locked in a chastity device are not things you can do safely when you have a hard plastic or metal ring encircling your scrotum. Hard impacts to your genitals could do actual damage, injuries that might require medical attention.

While I will always do my best to agree to doing activities that Lucie enjoys and finds meaningful, even if I don’t particularly enjoy them, there are a few things I won’t ever do. Not even for her. I would never refuse to do an activity just because I didn’t want to do it. But these are things I consider unsafe, unethical, or that could land me in legal trouble if someone complained. Having hard limits is just common sense.

Check back tomorrow to read my take on trust in a chastity relationship. Here is the prompt for tomorrow’s 31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 13:

Have you ever broken out of your device without permission, or before the agreed time? What happened and how did you feel about it?