The experience of chastity begins with experimentation. Often interest in chastity is fueled by fantasy initially. The practice of chastity with the male wearing a chastity device can heighten eroticism and make foreplay more long lasting. Whether someone wears a device for only a few hours or for longer terms, there is no such thing as doing it wrong. However you and your partner choose to do chastity, as long as it feels right for your relationship is doing it right. Chastity means differing things to different people. As long as you and your partner have fun with it and enjoy it, that’s all that matters. It can include a little tease and denial, or some bedroom D/s. But often, when a couple finds that chastity benefits their relationship, one or both may develop an interest in moving beyond chastity play to something more permanent. And we can consider a more permanent style of chastity as a lifestyle choice, today’s topic.
What are your views on Chastity as a lifestyle choice? Would you advocate it, or is it purely an element of play for short periods only? Which is best for your lifestyle?
While it’s fair to say I’m at the beginning of what I hope will become something more permanent with Lucie, I already view chastity as a lifestyle something positive and something I’m willing and eager to explore with her. Within our relationship, I advocate for it, but Lucie hasn’t yet decided if she is ready for us to step up to that level of commitment. It isn’t because she doesn’t enjoy what we’ve experienced. She has assured me of that. But Lucie feels that virtual play, while it can be fun and rewarding over the short-term, has its limitations. Believing that there is only so much we can do virtually before one or both of us grows bored, she doesn’t yet feel convinced a permanent arrangement would work long-term.
I think part of the reason Lucie feels unsure is that she is something of a perfectionist. She feels strongly that every service she provides, not only to me, to all of her clients, must be perfect. As a result, in my humble opinion, Lucie puts far more time and effort into every session than is actually necessary. As an example, when we first met, I signed up for a 5-9 day chastity period as a trial session. I wanted to get to know Lucie and to see whether we developed chemistry before I would agree to something longer. And that short 5-9 day session came with the promise of 5-7 teasing tasks.
By the time the session ended 9 days later, Lucie had actually given me a task to complete every single day, two more than she had promised. She is definitely an under promise, over deliver type. Of course, I loved every minute of it. And after my first experience with her, I definitely wanted more Lucie. Every session after the first only got better and the chemistry I was looking for quickly developed. Lucie continued to give me more than she promised each time, as far as the teasing. Not only that, but every task was always new. I never repeated the same task twice. That’s why I think Lucie believes there is only so much that can be done virtually before it feels stale and no longer fun.
I get that, of course. When someone feels as Lucie does, that she has to give so much effort every time, and continue coming up with new ideas for assignments, the most creative person on the planet is going to run out of new ideas eventually. I know I would, and I think I’m a reasonably imaginative and creative person. For a more permanent arrangement to work, I think Lucie will have to understand and accept she puts too much of herself into every session and it isn’t even necessary.
I’ve told her she does too much many times over the past several months, yet she hasn’t slacked off one bit. Not to say I don’t love doing the tasks for her, but I would stay just as aroused and feel just as frustrated with a lot fewer tasks.
Of course, I always want her to feel free to assign me as many tasks as she wishes because she is the dominant and is in control. I only hope she will understand eventually that I would feel just as satisfied and content with something far less than getting a task assignment every single day. Also, I wouldn’t mind repeating tasks because her tasks are always fun and accomplish her intent. And it would be much easier for Lucie to do things like assigning one task, edging with a vibe against the cage, for example, that I would complete every day for an entire week before she assigned another.
I suggest things like that, but I never wish Lucie to feel as though I’m attempting to top from the bottom. So, I don’t bring my ideas up again and again. She will have to decide how it works for us, but until she accepts that she does way more than she needs to do to keep me happy, I know a permanent relationship wouldn’t last long because she is the one who would eventually feel bored or even suffer burnout.
Yes, I prefer chastity as a lifestyle choice to short-term play. I feel sure that’s what I want and would work best for me. But it isn’t only up to me. Lucie has to want the same thing for it to work. And I have no right to try to coerce her into something she doesn’t want just because I want it. I have felt more hopeful during the last month that we are going to come to an agreement that works for us both because Lucie has added things to the mix that I know she does only for me.
As much as I want something more like chastity as a lifestyle with Lucie, she is about the least predicable woman I’ve ever known. So I have no way of predicting whether she will ever decide to take me on as permanent chastity submissive. But that’s okay. Since our first session, she has generously continued to play with me with no breaks, and we could say, in one sense, it has had a permanent feel all along. I hope she doesn’t get bored or feel burned out. But I can’t control that. Lucie will continue to do as she wishes. And if she grows tired of our arrangement and doesn’t want to continue, then I’ll just appreciate all the experiences she has given me. All I know for sure is until the day comes when she doesn’t want to continue, if it should, I’m not going anywhere. I’ll just enjoy it as long as it lasts because Lucie is that good.
For tomorrow’s post, 31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 12, I’m departing from the script for the first time since the prompt doesn’t really apply to my experiences. So, instead of the original Day 12 topic, I’ll discuss limits during chastity play, which I think is an important subject. I’ll share my thoughts on this prompt:
What are your hard limits? Tell us about any hard limits you have related to chastity play. Activities your partner might enjoy and want to explore with you, but that you’re unwilling to do.