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chastity keyholders

The Complete Idiot’s Guide To Finding A Chastity Keyholder ─ Part 2

By on Friday, June 5, 2020

This post, The Complete Idiot’s Guide To Finding A Chastity Keyholder ─ Part 2, focuses on guys who are not in a committed romantic relationship at the moment but are interested in trying chastity. Either you’ve recently discovered male chastity and think it’s something you want to try. Or, you already have a chastity device and have been enjoying self-locking for a while.

In The Complete Idiot’s Guide To Finding A Chastity Keyholder ─ Part 1, we defined the term keyholder. I won’t repeat the definition here, so if you haven’t read the first part of the multi-part post, you can click on the above link and review it if you wish.

As noted in the first part of this post, a keyholder can be anyone as long as that person consents to fill the role. Most commonly for men in relationships, it is the caged male’s wife or intimate partner. A guy not in a relationship doesn’t have this built-in option. That can make finding a keyholder at least somewhat more challenging. But it is not impossible.

Chastity For Lust And The Fun Of It All

Is it even necessary to have a keyholder to try chastity? Can’t a guy just self-lock or use one of the many virtual chastity device keyholders you can easily find on the web? Sure, you can do that, and some men find that an acceptable option. Just understand you won’t get the full chastity experience if you go about it that way. Locking your device and then handing over the keys to another human being to control takes chastity to a whole other level.

Most guys who try self-locking get bored right away. And, let’s face it. Self-locking is hard. You become entirely dependent on willpower to control those same urges that may have often sent you to a porn site with your penis in your hand. Most of us don’t have the willpower to last very long on our own. Also, starting your chastity journey alone is a lonely way to go. If what you want is the chastity lifestyle instead of just chastity play, a keyholder is a must.

I Have No One To Ask To Be My Keyholder

I hear a lot of guys say, I’d really like to try chastity, and I know I won’t enjoy self-locking. But I have no one to ask to be my keyholder. When I hear that, I think what they probably mean is that they are hesitant to ask someone to be their keyholder. It’s really quite like how we are sometimes timid about asking out a girl we like because we’re afraid she will say no. None of us enjoys rejection. I get that. Also, guys may fear if they bring up chastity with a girl, they believe she will think they are weird or something. But, the truth is, most guys know someone they could ask if they would only do it.

Most of us have females as platonic friends. A good many of us have ex-girlfriends. Both of those are good options. I have always tended to remain friends with my ex-girlfriends after the romantic relationships ended. Just because we weren’t a good fit for a relationship doesn’t mean they aren’t perfectly good friends. Out of my last four ex-girlfriends, I’d be comfortable with asking three of them to be my keyholder. At least two of those I’m pretty sure would agree to do it. I also have two female friends I’ve never dated that are definite maybes.

A guy I spoke with on a chastity website in a chat room once told me that one of his ex-girlfriends had been his keyholder for years. He’d mail her his keys, and she’d give him a date when he could ask to have them back. When he asked, she would either send the keys back or give him a new date when he could ask again. He said she liked being his keyholder so much he was concerned about one thing. He worried someday he would ask for the keys back, and she would not only say no, but she’d also say there would be no new release dates. Then he’d find himself in permanent chastity.

As long as the relationship with an ex-girlfriend ended amicably, and you are still in regular contact, she might be only too happy to mail out a lock or some keys once in a while and set a release date. It’s hardly any effort on her part, and it allows her to keep a thumb on the scales of your life. We could say pretty much the same thing about platonic female friends.

In both cases, you just need to do a good job of explaining to them your interest in chastity and what you want them to do. And make sure you tell them that if they agree to be your keyholder, they are allowed to exercise their independent judgment about when they give you releases.

The truth is, there are something like 3.5 billion females on the planet. Unless a guy is a castaway on some deserted island, it’s hard to make the case he has no one to ask to be his keyholder. But, if you’re too shy to ask a female you know, or too afraid she will think you’re a freak for the asking, then you have other options.

The Professionals

Beyond platonic friends and ex-girlfriends, a keyholder can also be a professional dominatrix, pro-domme, or another service for-fee provider. There are advantages and disadvantages to using a pro. An advantage is you don’t have to explain chastity to them. They probably know more about it than you do, and they will also probably know all about the different chastity device options. The disadvantage is you must pay them to enforce your chastity, and in some cases, they will insist upon making all the rules without any concern for what you may want in your chastity experience. Let’s look at three options.

Professional Dominatrix

Most professional dominatrices offer enforced chastity services. But they will often be the most expensive option. These ladies often make their livings from indulging the kinks of their clients. If you live in a large city, chances are you can even find a local one. If so, you can probably schedule a face-to-face session where she will physically lock you in your device.

You can also connect with one online via Skype or some similar video and voice platform, and she will supervise while you lock yourself. These women also offer a wide array of other services tailored to kink enthusiasts, tease and denial as one example. Since a professional dominatrix sets her own prices, it would be useless for me to try and offer price specifics. Let’s just say you should expect to pay them hundreds of dollars per hour, whether you are looking for an in-person or online video-based session. Almost always, you pay a dominatrix in cash, or by online cash transfers. You find these women on the Internet. They are small businesspersons, and all have a web and social media presence.

Professional Dommes

Professional Dommes are similar to professional dominatrices regarding the kind of services they offer. They, too, can be on the expensive side, but not usually as expensive as a professional dominatrix. Again, in larger cities, you may find them locally. Also, there are many of them online. Some charge per hour for sessions like their dominatrix sisters, but some offer basic enforced chastity keyholding services at a standard weekly rate. I’ve used one such online service, which was very reasonable in price.

If you want something besides keyholding, like tease and denial sessions or online assignments, be prepared to pay extra. Usually, you pay pro-dommes in cash, or by online cash transfers. You also find pro-dommes on the Internet. A web search on the term “chastity keyholder” will return lots of website links for your consideration.

Other Service For-Fee Providers

The recent explosive growth of interest in chastity among men has created a cottage-like industry to address the increased demand for chastity keyholders. These women are almost exclusively online, distant keyholders. Women, from college students to homemakers to lifestyle dommes, are prepared to be your keyholder for a nominal fee. It tends to be a side gig for them instead of a full-time job.

Many of these service for-fee providers have websites, but a lot of them operate off social media platforms like Twitter. While they have set fees, the costs for keyholding are typically much less than you would pay a dominatrix or pro-domme. Another difference is many of these providers don’t accept cash. Instead, they require payments (they term “tributes”) via online digital gift cards, like those available from Amazon and other retailers.

Take Away

I believe having a “lifestyle” keyholder, a platonic friend or ex-girlfriend, is the best option, and not only because it’s free. I think it is just a better experience, closer to what men in relationships enjoy from having a wife or partner as their keyholder. But, if that’s not an option for you, there are professional ladies out there willing to hold your keys for a fee.

With all the options available, I don’t see a reason any guy has to self-lock and go it alone. There are the virtual keyholding services out there you can find on the web, some that are free for basic service, and some at a nominal charge. But comparing a virtual keyholding service to a flesh and blood keyholder to me is like comparing a Fleshlight to a girlfriend. It just isn’t the same.

That wraps up The Complete Idiot’s Guide To Finding A Keyholder. Thanks for reading. I hope you learned something or that the posts at least sparked a few ideas for you. Good luck finding your perfect keyholder, or one as perfect as your circumstances allow.

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The Surrendering Control Part Of Male Chastity

By on Tuesday, June 2, 2020

While I’m still learning about all the reasons I feel such a strong attraction to it, I do know I like the inherent surrendering control part of male chastity. Not just yielding control, but the awareness of the power of the keyholder over me, the feel of her control over me, and the way she manipulates control itself.

Male chastity associations are control-sensitive relationships. I’ve always been intrigued by anything that has to do with the transfer of control to or from someone. In this post, I want to explore control within the framework of male chastity by looking at what transpires when you relinquish control of your sexual desire to a keyholder by submitting to her locking your penis inside a chastity device and taking possession of the keys.

Fantasies Fulfillment

Many men who desire a keyholder to lock them in a chastity device are consciously seeking out opportunities to enact pleasurable fantasies of being sexually controlled. It can be a temporary escape from the tensions and responsibilities of daily life. The period of submission is, in effect, a time when you can cast aside many worldly obligations, societal expectations, and gendered norms, a time of surrender and receptivity to the stimulus that a keyholder bestows. You don’t have to make decisions. There are no distractions to reduce the intensity of perception.

When a guy wears a chastity device for a keyholder, it permits him to explore absolute powerlessness in a safe context, knowing that no actual harm will occur and that he will not be condemned or ridiculed. For me, submission in chastity is not about being passive or giving in to the will of another because I’m weak. It’s about voluntarily turning over my power to someone else.

Erotic Coercion

Chastity is a form of erotic coercion, a term, that within the context of male chastity, refers to a keyholder forcing a chaste male to do something which he protests and which may be fundamentally humiliating. At the same time, this sense of coercion is precisely what makes the experience arousing.

Coercion scenarios depend on the chaste male’s ability to enter into the fantasy and to feel his keyholder is forcing him to accept something, even if that something is exactly what he craves. It might only mean being forced to surrender control over his sexual desire to a keyholder. For some, it might mean fully surrendering to his keyholder and doing things to make me her happy, more or less worshiping her like a goddess. Worship is a supreme romantic surrender and opportunity to display humility and devotion.

The surrendering control part is what does it for me. How about you? What is the draw of male chastity for you?

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Breaking Up With Your Keyholder Is Hard To Do

By on Monday, June 1, 2020

It’s been a while since it happened, but Lady Jayne and I parted company. I’ve thought of posting about it before but didn’t feel ready. Even thinking about it made me feel sad. Breaking up with your keyholder is hard to do.

 

 

I beg of you, Goddess, don’t say goodbye
Can’t we give our chastity contract another try?
Come on, Goddess, let’s start anew
‘Cause breaking up is hard to do.

 

Bluer Than Blue

But, I think I’m past it now. It seems a little weird that you can find yourself so attached to someone you really don’t even know. But it happens. At least, it did to me. I also felt that LJ and I had formed a friendship. She was definitely more to me than just a distant, online keyholder.

The problem was it became apparent we just weren’t on the same page. I hadn’t had any releases since our first month together. Well, that’s what chastity is about, some may say. Well, yes, it is. The thing is it became apparent to me from things LJ told me that her plan for me was permanent chastity. That’s something I aspire to someday, but I’m not ready for it yet.

Besides no orgasm opportunities, there were—no ruined orgasms, no instructions to do prostate milking, and few teasing assignments. I wasn’t even allowed any solo attempts at teasing without instructions. As a result, my arousal dipped lower and lower until it felt like it sort of flat-lined.

I can’t speak for anyone else, but that doesn’t work for me. Unless I can sustain heightened arousal, chastity just isn’t fun or meaningful. It starts to feel like a chore for which there is never any reward.

I hung on as long as I could, but one day, I knew it was time to throw in the towel. So, I asked to be released from our contract and fulfilled the cancellation obligation stipulated in the contract. We exchanged a couple more messages, and that was it.

It was clear she wasn’t happy about me quitting, even though I carried out all my responsibilities with the hope of ending things on a positive note. I suppose I understand that. Maybe she felt she had wasted her time on me. And, I think she may have taken my decision to quit as criticism of her as a keyholder, though it wasn’t like that all.

LJ, I believe, was the best keyholder I could have found for my first time in chastity. She was knowledgeable, experienced, and caring. In the beginning, I really thought we would be together for a very long time.

I don’t place any responsibility for my decision to quit on her. It was all me. I think I just needed more from her than she could give. LJ doesn’t make her living from keyholding. It’s only a side gig doing something she enjoys. And, she is very popular in online keyholding circles. She holds keys for a lot of guys. So, she simply doesn’t have enough hours in a day to give every guy as much personal attention as he might want or feel he needs.

Without regular teasing assignments and her prohibition against me doing anything on my own, I just couldn’t sustain the level of arousal to stay with the program. I became irritable all the time, and that just wasn’t fair to the people who must deal with me daily in the real world.

Though I was unhappy about quitting LJ, I never felt I was abandoning chastity. It is something I think benefits me. I took a few days to reset and re-calibrate, and then I started self-locking. That was okay for a while, but solo chastity is hard and not that much fun. It wasn’t long until I started searching for another keyholder, and found one. She locked me for the first time last week.

A New Keyholder

At the moment, we’re doing a two-week trial before discussing something more long-term. I must say, the difference so far for me has been like night and day. While I don’t have daily contact with my new keyholder as I did with LJ, she gave me teasing assignments at the start to do twice daily over the entire two-week period. That’s been the difference. The tasks keep my head bumping against the ceiling of heightened arousal, and I’m getting the steady drip of dopamine that most of us chaste guys crave. I couldn’t believe how quickly the first week has passed for me.

It’s not at all that I feel my current keyholder is better than LJ. She is just different and has a different way of going about things. It’s too early to say whether she will LJ’s permanent replacement, but I’ve been more than happy with the way things have gone so far. During my search for a new keyholder, I had found several potential keyholders who intrigued me. So, I still have options. But I’m leaning towards doing a full month with the woman holding my keys right now before I consider trying someone else. Only a little more time will tell if we’re a good long-term fit.

So, I’m back in the saddle for now, and I’m going to borrow an idea from pcguy, the blogger at Thrill Of The Chaste. He has a page on his site where you can see his current status—lock or unlocked. I love that idea, so I’m putting a similar page on my website. Just look for the tab in the menu, My Current Status, if you want to check mine.

LJ was great, and I’m sure I’ll continue missing her. I’ll miss the great chats we used to have and doing my best to please her. But life is about change. And usually, things happen the way they do because that’s the way they were supposed to happen.

Thanks for reading. I’ll keep you updated on the developments with my new keyholder.

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January 2020 Metrics

By on Friday, January 31, 2020

The first month of the new year is over. I’m ending the month in a new cage, Koalaswim’s Man Trap (MT 4889). It’s a much better fitting cage for me, one I actually fill. The Man Trap will see me through until Mature Metal delivers my custom made Watchful Mistress in February, though I do have a new custom made 3D-printed nylon cage on its way to me. I’ll reveal more about that one in a future post. Now to the stats.

Locked days

During January LJ kept me locked for 31 consecutive days except for short periods for cleaning and maintenance. Typically LJ allows a thorough cleaning once each week. My time out of the cage this month totaled one hour and twenty-four minutes. That comes out to around 99.8% of the month locked.

Releases

LJ only permitted me one ruined orgasm and one normal orgasm this month. The last came on January 12, so I finished January with 19 consecutive days of denial. No idea when LJ plans the next release. To be honest, I’m hoping for one over the upcoming weekend since this period of denial is already twice the length of any previous period since LJ became my keyholder.

While I really hate them, even a ruined orgasm would be welcome at this point. But any release may only be wishful thinking. About a week ago I mentioned to LJ I’d set a new consecutive days denied orgasm record. Her response was, “Yes, and each day you will set a new one.” That didn’t sound too promising. Hopefully, it was only a mind fuck. Now that she is teasing me regularly, my arousal level keeps bouncing off the ceiling like a helium-filled balloon.

Tune in next time when I’ll share more in the next post about the new 3D-printed nylon cage.

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Imperfect release

By on Friday, January 3, 2020

If you read yesterday’s post, I suppose you think I went on about about the unhappy prospect of permanent denial a little more than necessary. If so, perhaps you’re right since yesterday afternoon LJ informed me it was time for my first release.

First, she cautioned the orgasm I’d receive out of her munificence was not for my pleasure. It was only to flush the plumbing system of pent up semen for benefit of health and welfare.

Frankly, I was feeling so desperate, I was happy to get an orgasm on any grounds. But, as LJ laid out the terms of the impending seminal discharge in her usual direct business-like fashion, suddenly, it sounded so absolutely clinical and bleak.

After removing the cage on her instructions, I was required to undress and to adopt a specific posture for masturbation. I was then given a ridiculously short time to masturbate and achieve the expected therapeutic orgasm. Of course, I was instructed in no uncertain terms to remove my hand at the very moment climax was imminent, to ruin it by allowing the orgasm to dribble away.

As I feared, the ridiculously short time allowance proved insufficient to achieve orgasm. I was then required to wait a preposterously long period before being permitted a second attempt. Fortunately, the stimulation during the first attempt along with the long pause had made me even more outrageously horny. Suffice to say, I achieved my objective with time to spare on the second crack at it.

I’m not a complete novice to “ruined” orgasms. I once had a kinky girlfriend subject me to one for “fun” while I was bound to a bed and in no position to object. That was quite a long time ago. I’d forgotten just what an act of cruelty a ruined orgasm truly is.

The result of the therapeutic orgasm was I felt a slight bit of relief from the heaviness in my balls, and it seemed to take a little of the edge off of the desperation to come I’d endured the past many days. But, it was certainly not the mind-blowing, mother of all orgasms I’d been dreaming of for days on end. I remained horny as fuck, which is what LJ intended. But, on a positive note, I did not experience the emotional drop or endorphins crash I’ve read that many chaste men suffer when allowed release.

The final humiliation was when LJ ordered me to consume my emissions. That is not something I’ve ever done. It’s not something I’ve ever even thought of doing. Call me weird, but I’ve never been the slightest bit curious about what semen tastes like, mine or anyone’s. Frankly, until yesterday afternoon, I’d have doubted anyone could have ever convinced me to taste it, much less eat it. But, there I was, doing it at the behest of a woman I hardly know. But, after considering the terrible sway and power the woman wields over me; in the end, I thought it best not to test her patience.

To make matters worse, after being denied orgasms for nine days, the longest period of chasteness I’ve ever been subjected to, the volume of ejaculate was at least twice the norm for me. That didn’t make the task any easier.

Once I swallowed the final indignity, quite literally, the health and welfare exercise was concluded. After giving the cage a proper cleaning and showering, I went back into the cage and was locked.

Ominously, LJ warned releases would be most infrequent and that I shouldn’t count on the next one coming anywhere near as quickly as she had so generously allowed the first. Not something I really wanted to hear.

The most positive thing about this experience thus far is at least she hasn’t subjected me to any cruel sexual teasing. While I had assumed at the beginning teasing was part of the whole chastity thing, it hasn’t been that way at all. I suppose I should count my blessings, as I shudder to think about what condition that might leave me in. Probably curled into a fetal ball on the floor in a catatonic state from sexual frustration overload. I wonder if I’ll ever learn to endure this, much less embrace it.

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72 hours in chastity update

By on Sunday, December 29, 2019

Time for my 72 hours in chastity update. As of this morning, I’ve passed the mark. While a paltry length of time for those who have been living the chastity lifestyle for years, it feels like a significant milestone for me as a novice. I wish I could say I’ve been locked for the entire 72 hours, but LJ made me remove the device before bed last night. I’d only reached the sixty-hour mark by then.

Frankly, I found it soul-crushingly disappointing to be made to remove the chastity device last night. But, of course, I’ve already learned my feelings in the matter are totally irrelevant, as it should be.

The device had become so comfortable, it felt weird having it off. And worst, being unlocked did not come with any freedom to masturbate or orgasm. I spent a fairly miserable night tossing and turning, unable to fall asleep until the wee hours of the morning. It was the kind of night I’d expected the first night I slept locked, which turned out to be amazingly restful instead.

My marching orders from LJ were to shower and lock up first thing this morning. That proved a bit problematic. After showering, I waited a while before putting the thoroughly cleaned device back on to give things time for proper air drying. Then I attempted to put the 40mm base ring back on. My balls weren’t having any of it.

Overnight had been more than enough time for my nicely stretched scrotum to return to its normal excessively tight state. It took more than an hour before I finally managed to coax my nuts back into the damn ring. I was thoroughly frustrated, and I admit more than a little annoyed at having to deal with it when there hadn’t been any compelling reason to have taken the cage off last night anyway.

This morning, I told LJ the 40mm base ring must be a little too small after all since it shouldn’t have been that difficult to get back on. I pleaded with her to allow me to order a custom-fitted cage with the correct size base ring. Well, I pleaded as best I could without risking making her feel I was overstepping and triggering a rebuke. She was unmoved.

LJ allowed the 40mm base ring might be a bit too small, pointing out she had been skeptical about it being the right size all long. But, she still firmly insisted it wasn’t yet time to order a custom-fitted device. I have no choice but to accept her decision to wait. Still, when a 6-8 week wait seems the norm with custom chastity device makers, I just don’t get why we’re waiting to order one.

I have my measurements now, and the base ring measurements show I need a ring size a little between 1.50 and 1.75 inches, which I could easily get from a custom manufacturer. I just don’t see any good reason to delay ordering it. If we ordered a custom device today, my 30-day trial period with LJ would already be up before it arrived. That means I’m stuck with wearing a less than an optimum device for weeks longer. That just seems totally unnecessary.

The moral of this story seems to make sure you get a properly fitted device you’re happy with before you start looking for a keyholder. Once you have a KH, you won’t have much if any input on what your dick is locked in.

As I write this, I am again locked. The first hours after putting the device back on this morning were miserable, the most uncomfortable hours I’ve yet experienced. Things are now finally stretching out again and the major discomfort seems to be behind me. I’m sure someday I’ll be able to look back on this and laugh. Today is not that day.

Not sure what LJ has planned for me next. I haven’t been able to suss out her planned schedule. There hasn’t been any discernible pattern. I was totally surprised when she told me to unlock before bed last night. Now I don’t have a clue how many days I’ll stay locked this time around.

Whatever happens, I remain determined to continue chasing the chastity rabbit down the hole without looking back.

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My first night sleeping in a male chastity device

By on Friday, December 27, 2019

Finally, I experienced my first night sleeping in a male chastity device. LJ told me to remain locked when I went to bed last night. I had been keen to do it, which led to what seemed a small misunderstanding.

Yesterday afternoon I mentioned how I was really hoping she would let me sleep while locked. I meant only to convey how much I liked being locked for her and that I was feeling confident I was ready for my first night locked. Evidently, she either interpreted what I said as a request or a suggested course of action.

At any rate, I received a terse reply reminding me in no uncertain terms that she made the decisions, and what I wanted was completely irrelevant. Fair enough, I suppose, if she really believed I had overstepped. But, I was honestly only sharing my mental state at the time which is something I thought she expected from me. This goes to show that getting acquainted and comfortable with a new keyholder is just as much a part of this process as getting accustomed to being locked.

I’m not the type who gets hurt feelings easily. But LJ’s curt correction, which I truly believe was simply based on an incorrect interpretation on her part, smarted a bit. It also makes me feel less eager to express feelings as opposed to only the facts about my adjustment to being locked. That is problematic in my view. It makes me feel less willing to be completely open and vulnerable with her which I’d think is how this kind of arrangement should ideally go.

Anyway, it’s still a bit of a sore spot for me this morning. The shocking bit is she has been strict, but very reasonable up until the exchange yesterday afternoon. Guess it will start to feel more like we’re on the same page as we get better acquainted.

Later in the evening, LJ told me I would be sleeping while locked. I was a bit surprised by that given what she had said earlier. I half expected she was going to make me remove the cage, not out of spite, but to drive home the point she was boss. I’m happy she didn’t do that because to be honest, I would have seen that as petty. I have a very firm grasp of the dynamics of power exchanges. I’m not one to attempt topping from the bottom. I feel no entitlement to suggest courses of action to LJ, and I’ve not made a single request of her. I simply do what she says which is how I see the whole enforced chastity thing working. I hope we get this sorted in short order.

Well, off my rant and back to the actual topic, my first overnight locked. Sleeping locked was probably the one thing I felt a bit uneasy about at the beginning. I’d read a lot of experiences shared by other guys, which made me worry dealing with night time erections might be a very unpleasant, and maybe even painful experiences. As it turned out, I worried about it way too much.

I was awakened three times by attempted erections during the night. With the first two occurrences, things subsided quickly and I went back to sleep almost immediately. The last erection was a short time before I intended to get out of bed this morning. Morning wood, I suppose. It didn’t cause what I’d characterize as real discomfort. But, I was very much aware of some significant pressure from the base ring being pulled tighter. So, using a tip I’d read somewhere, I went to the bathroom and urinated which resolved things quickly.

In short, my first overnight while locked went amazingly well. I’ve now experienced my first complete 24-hour locked experience. I slept normally for the most part, and had no trouble finding a comfortable sleeping position. The cage is beginning to feel more like a part of my body rather than an uncomfortable foreign object. And, I am very pleased with this inexpensive, made in China, device I had to switch to when the Jailhouse device didn’t work out. It is amazingly comfortable to wear, and its open style makes cleaning up in the shower while locked a breeze.

The only thing I dislike about the device is the “shower head” effect caused by the end cap with multiple holes. Invariably, my urethral opening is never lined up properly with the center hole. So, when peeing, the urine splashes against the inside of the end cap and pretty much goes everywhere except where intended. I’m now planning a full review of the device once I’ve worn it another week or so.

I have no clue where we will go from here, or how long I’ll be locked before being released again. As LJ brusquely reminded me yesterday afternoon, she makes the decisions about how things will go and will tell me what happens next when she feels I need to know. Yep, cool. Pretty much what I expected when I decided to jump into male chastity.

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LJ Rules

By on Thursday, December 26, 2019

I suppose I’m in a contemplative mood today, even though it’s only my third day in chastity. I thought I’d start by sharing LJ’s rules for me in this post. The rules are few but straightforward. I’m sure most of them are similar to the rules other key holders set. The last two relate to the fact LJ is enforcing my chastity from a distance.

1. My cock belongs to LJ, period.
2. I must wear my chastity device at all times unless she instructs me to remove it. (A bonafide medical emergency the only exception.)
3. I can only come when given permission, and in the manner, LJ instructs me to do so.
4. When I’m unlocked, I may not touch “her” penis except as required for cleaning and must never play with “her” penis whether locked or unlocked without permission.
5. I am required to submit verification photos whenever LJ chooses to require them.
6. I must complete any assigned tasks given by LJ promptly and to her satisfaction.

Here is the contemplative part. As I was looking at the rules again today, I’ve agreed to follow, a few thoughts came to mind about exactly what accepting these rules means for me.

1. I no longer decide when and how often sexual stimulation or release happens for me.
2. I enjoy no entitlement to sexual stimulation or release.
3. I have no expectation of being allowed sexual stimulation or release.
4. Pleasure for me now is doing my best to show respect to LJ by obeying her in every respect, pleasing her, and submitting to her authority.
5. When and if LJ allows me sexual stimulation or release, it will be a gift.

When a man gives up control over the very thing that defines his manhood, he gives up a lot of other related things too. Most of them go against the grain of everything our culture says men are entitled to. Even though I’m only in my third day of enforced chastity, I already suspect accepting and embracing these realities will be among the hardest things I’ve ever done. And, I’ve done some hard shit during my lifetime.

Even so, at the very outset of this dive into male chastity, I feel deeply enforced chastity is something I don’t think I’ll ever want to give up.

Yes, LJ rules. She makes them. I live by them. I don’t think I’d have it any other way.

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male chasity devices

Houston we have a problem

By on Wednesday, December 25, 2019

I hadn’t planned on posting another update until the 72-hour mark. But, Houston, we had big chastity device problems.

Things were going so swimmingly, I expected it to continue. But, at around five yesterday afternoon on my first real day in chastity, I lost my right nut.

I wasn’t even aware it happened until Lady Jayne, who for the sake of brevity, will be known from this point forward as LJ, asked for a photo. She wanted to check that my color was still good and there weren’t any circulation issues. I dropped trou to take the photo with my phone and that’s when I discovered righty had gone AWOL. It had slipped the ring and then hidden itself up inside me. I tried to coax it back through the ring, but it was a no-go. I had to cut the lock and remove the device to sort it out.

Weirdly, there was absolutely no sensation associated with the wayward nut. Everything felt copacetic. The damn device had felt so secure. Anyway, I put it back on and locked up with a new plastic numbered lock, thinking it was only a fluke. But it wasn’t.

About four hours later, I was sitting in my recliner watching football. Sure as fuck, my right nut popped right out of the base ring again. I wasn’t having an erection of anything. One minute it was inside the ring. The next, it was hiding again up inside me. That time I did feel a slight twinge when it happened.

After talking it over with LJ, we concluded the base ring was too big. Buying an off-the-shelf device, I had only three choices in base rings; a 1.50 inch (40mm), 1.75 inch (45mm), or 2.00 inch (50mm). I’d purchased a cheap device earlier with a 40mm base ring but hadn’t been able to get the ring on. I’d also tried on a 50mm standard behind the scrotum cock ring when checking sizes. It was too big. So, by process of elimination, I ordered the new device with a 45mm base ring. Without the option of a custom-fit ring, the 45mm seemed the right choice. Evidently not.

LJ was tied up with Christmas Eve guests when I lost my ball the second time. So, I took the initiative. I pulled out the cheap device (made in China) I’d bought previously with the 40mm ring. My thinking was if 45mm was too big, the 40mm had to fit unless I was one of those unlucky guys between sizes who has to have a custom-size base ring. Low and behold, the damn 40mm went right on, no sweat.

Later when we touched base, LJ was skeptical. She didn’t see I could suddenly fit into a 40mm ring that I’d been unable to get on before even using a lubricant. She was concerned about circulatory issues cropping up. But, she graciously gave me permission to try wearing it on the condition I took it off at bedtime. She is super safety conscious and wouldn’t risk me wearing the smaller ring to bed having worn it for such a short time. So, that’s what we did.

Christmas morning, I put the 40mm ring and the cheap device back on. I had to work it a bit more than on the night before, but it went on easy enough. My nutsack is the type that is really tight up against my base and likes to stay that way, especially first thing in the morning. But, once I got things stretched out a little, the ring went on and it was all good.

I’ve had this device on for about eight hours as of publication time. It’s simple and cheap, but actually I kind of like it. For one thing, it weighs a ton less than the other device that wouldn’t stay on me. LJ and I chatted briefly about me ordering a new custom-fitted device now that I may have finally figured out my true base ring size, or close to it. I’m feeling confident about the 40mm.

For one thing, I read Thumper’s blog religiously, Denying Thumper, and just based on the images he shares, I’d be willing to bet we’re about the same size. He has said 40mm is his standard base ring size, so from the get-go, I couldn’t understand why I had trouble getting the 40mm ring on before. I’m thinking it must have been because of my tight scrote. Wearing the bigger, heavier device for a day and a half, I think stretched things just enough so I could get into the 40mm ring.

Previously, I shared in this post the insights from an experienced key holder who advises this when buying a custom-fitted device.

“The main option is the length (short is good actually buy one way shorter than you think you should as well) the other critical size is the base ring buy that in the size you think is right and also the next two smaller sizes. Sure go ahead, start with the one that’s easy to get on. There’s a good chance it will eventually fall off even without trying. Go smaller, go a lot smaller, then go even smaller.” ─ Chastity Perkins

I’m definitely taking Chastity’s advice when I order my custom device. I’ll get a 40mm base ring and the next two smaller sizes. From what I’ve read, it seems an accepted fact that the weight of stainless steel devices does stretch the scrotum over time. So, Chastity’s take, based on her experience with her husband, makes perfect sense to me.

Meanwhile, I think now I’ll be able to get by with my cheap, made in China replacement until I get my hands on a high-quality custom-fitted device.

Rocking the cheap, made in China model

Hope everyone is having, or had happy holidays. Thanks for reading.

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male chastity

Locked in a male chastity device for the first time

By on Tuesday, December 24, 2019

Finally, I’m sharing my first post while locked in a male chastity device and can relate my first in-chastity experience.

I received the chastity device yesterday afternoon. For the first time, Lady Jayne had me wear it for only a few hours until bedtime last night. The idea I assume is to allow me to gradually grow accustomed to staying locked for longer and longer periods. Here are my first impressions of what it felt like to be locked for the first time, and after removing it last night.

Physically the first thing I noticed was the device adds noticeable extra weight to my penis. Not surprising since the device is made of metal. It felt a little unusual at first. Not uncomfortable, only different. The device pulled my penis downwards a little more than normal, and the cage presses rather tightly against my testicles.

After a little while, the device generally felt comfortable. I found I rather liked the physical sensations of confinement. While I liked the looks of things, I can’t say I felt particularly aroused at the outset. Perhaps that only indicates chastity devices aren’t a fetish for me. Almost immediately, being locked did make me very aware of my key holder.

I’ve read some guys who are accustomed to long term lock up actually feel “naked” when not wearing their device. Maybe because I wore it only a handful of hours, I can’t say I felt that way exactly after removing it. Perhaps that will come in time. However, I can already easily imagine how wearing a chastity device will come to serve as a constant reminder of my commitment to Lady Jayne and our agreement, that I’ve surrendered complete control of my penis to her, and that I need her permission to orgasm.

Here are a few other thoughts.

Comfort

As said, wearing the chastity device caused no discomfort. It certainly didn’t cause any pain. Still, even after wearing it a relatively short time, I feel sure I’m not going to just forget I’m wearing it any time soon. I expect it will take some time to get used to it. Both physically and mentally. I’m already curious about what it will feel like when I experience my first attempted erection. I wonder if it will feel more like the good kind of erotic pain, or the bad kind of pain.

Wearing a chastity device definitely made me aware I was denied the full range of sensation I usually experience with my penis, that I couldn’t touch myself, and that visiting the bathroom to urinate can be a bit frustrating. I used the “stocking method” to coax my penis to the end of the cage. Everything seemed lined up, and I thought I might be able to urinate normally. Not so. It seems I retracted a little after wearing the device for a while, so the first time I needed to go and tried the usual approach, it made a mess. Guess I’ll be sitting to pee from now on.

As said, no real discomfort of any kind was felt. The base ring felt tight, but not too tight. There wasn’t any discomfort felt around the scrotum where the base ring fits. Having worn regular metal cock rings in the past, my body is likely already accustomed to that part it.

The Device

I’m pleased with how well the device I chose fit right out of the box. For a mass-produced device, it seems reasonably well made. The interior of the tube isn’t polished the way the exterior is, but it’s smooth without any rough spots. It seems I chose the correct base ring size, at least for making a start with all this. Since it’s stainless steel, there is some heft to the device, but the weight doesn’t feel overly burdensome.

Here is a look of me wearing the device for anyone interested.

locked-in-a-male-chastity-device

Locked for the first time

Somewhere I read a suggestion about wearing tight underwear to help with support when wearing a steel device. In preparation, I picked up some new briefs a size smaller than I usually wear. It does seem they help with supporting the weight.

Typically I wear relaxed fit jeans or track pants. I’ve tried on both while wearing the device, and the “chastity bump” doesn’t appear too noticeable in either. I have found I need to “adjust” myself more than usual, especially while sitting. I expect it will only take a little getting used to on that front.

Erections

I haven’t yet experienced an attempted erection, so I can’t yet offer any thoughts on how that feels while locked. Having nocturnal erections is the one bit I’m feeling a little anxious about. I’ve read the experiences of others. For some, it doesn’t seem much of a bother. A few described it as quite painful.

Current status

As instructed by Lady Jayne, I put the device back on first thing this morning after showering and giving the device a thorough cleaning. Since she hasn’t told me, I have no idea how long I’ll be locked before I’m allowed to next remove the device. But, I suspect I won’t be taking it off at bedtime tonight since she instructed me to secure the device with a numbered plastic lock instead of the padlock. I find I rather like the uncertainty over not knowing when or if I’ll be unlocked.

I’m also very keen to learn how wearing a chastity device and having fewer orgasms than I’m accustomed to will affect me. Over time will my body become more mentally attuned to some of the other erogenous zones? Will I gain a better appreciation through chastity and orgasm denial that stimulation of my penis isn’t absolutely necessary to enjoy life? Will I learn to enjoy the pleasures of my own body without orgasms or the ability to directly touch of my penis? Will wearing a chastity device cause me to feel more sexually aroused during the day, as my mind returns to the one who holds my key? These things and more are what I’m contemplating this morning.

Concluding thoughts

I’m planning to post the next update of my first-time chastity experience after I reach the 72-hour mark. While I have some initial impressions about the device itself, since this is the first time I’ve worn one, I think I will wear it for two weeks before posting a full review.

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