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mail call

Mail Call: Chastity Related Questions December 2023

By on Tuesday, December 12, 2023

It’s time for the December 2023 edition of Mail Call, where I answer reader submitted chastity related questions.

This month, I’ve received three questions from readers about things I think might hold interest for our wider audience, so let’s get to them.

Hasn’t Quite Cracked the Right Fit and Style for Long-Term Wear

This question comes from reader ML…

Hey,

I’ve been a (not very great) chastity user for around 6 years now. Unfortunately, due to cost and difficulties finding a comfy fit, I’m still yet to wear one for more than 4 days. It’s great to see blogs and info on people who really enjoy wearing them too! I’ve mostly got on with metal ones. But want to figure out an affordable option for a light but secure material for longer term wear. What advice would you have for someone who still hasn’t quite cracked the right fit and style in finding one? My concern is I’ll spend big money on one. But the money will be wasted due to the fit not being quite right.

Any advice welcome! Stay locked!

There are two main reasons guys never get past wearing a chastity device comfortably for more than a few days—trying to go from zero to hero too quickly or not spending the time to take proper measurements before buying a device.

Given the vast number of relatively inexpensive devices available today that offer a reasonable fit (except for guys with some physical anomaly that prevents them from wearing a ball-trap device), I believe anyone who wants to can adjust to wearing a chastity device long-term. They just have to find a well-fitting device within their budget and give their body enough time to adjust to wearing it.

Patience Grasshopper

We’re all unique. Some of us have more sensitive skin than others. Some of us have lower tolerance for discomfort than others. So, there is no way I or anyone can offer a one-size fits all solution to the question: how much time does it take to get accustomed to wearing a chastity device comfortably?

I don’t have overly sensitive skin and I rate my tolerance for discomfort as average. Under the guidance of a very experienced and knowledgeable professional keyholder, I went from putting on a chastity device for the first time to wearing in 24/7 in two weeks. But that won’t work for every guy.

I’m confident this 3-week schedule for beginners I recently updated will work for most guys. But if you try it and experience excessive chafing, broken skin, or pain, then customize the recommended schedule by dropping back a step and giving it a few more days or another week at that step before advancing to the next step again. Of course, you’re never going to adjust to wearing a poorly fitting device.

Measure, Measure, Measure

Don’t skip the measuring step before ordering a chastity device. Yes, those who have followed this blog for a while probably think I sound like a broken record. But I can’t stress enough how important measuring is to getting a good fitting device. You can probably find a thousand different ways to measure for a chastity device on the web. If you’re looking at getting a particular device and the manufacturer gives measurement instructions, by all means, use those. But as far as generic instructions go, this method is as good as any and better than most.

First, using a ruler or measuring tape, Measure your penis when flaccid (not shriveled) and at its smallest. Take this measurement at least three times on three consecutive days at about the same time of day. Then either total the measurements, and divide by three or go with the shortest of the three as your flaccid length measurement. I like a tight fit, so I always subtract 3/4 inch from my final length measurement.

Measuring the circumference of your flaccid penis isn’t necessary unless you’re ordering a custom cage. That’s because manufacturers use a standard cage inside diameter aimed at the average. That will work for most guys, so I wouldn’t bother with this measurement if you’re getting an off-the-shelf device.

Measure for the base ring by measuring the circumference of an imaginary circle running across the top of the base of your penis where it meets your body and beneath your scrotum, and back to the top of your penis base. The best way is to use a length of string, roughly close to the thickness of a base ring. Wrap it over the base of the penis and beneath the scrotum. Pull it tight, but not so tight that it presses into your flesh. Mark the string where the string overlaps on the top of your penis base. Then measure that length with a ruler or tape measure. This measurement is the circumference of the imaginary circle, so you must divide the result by 3.14 (pi) to get the diameter of the base ring you need. As an example, your measurement is 6-1/4 inches. 6.25/3.14=1.99 inches. (Round up to 2 inches). Here is an even more accurate method to determine base ring size.

Chastity device manufacturer Mature Metal sells a set of nine plastic sizing rings for $30 with sizes ranging from 1-1/8″ to 2-1/8″ and this is an excellent investment if you want to get the exact size base ring needed. Just experiment until you find the ring size you can comfortably wear and that doesn’t restrict blood circulation. Many manufacturers only supply one ring with a device, so you need to get this right the first time to avoid spending more money to get a different size if you get it wrong.

Metal or Plastic?

With your measurements in hand, you first must choose between metal and plastic. When I first started chastity, I only wanted stainless steel. And I have several steel devices, many of them custom-made devices. But I now prefer 3D printed plastic cages and have since acquired several of those. They aren’t custom-made, but still fit very well and feel very comfortable for long-term wear. My advice is to start with plastic. You can always transition to steel later once you’ve mastered wearing a device for lengthy periods. And you may decide you like plastic, anyway.

My Current Beginner Device Recommendations

The beginner cages I now recommend for beginners are the Kink3D Cobra and the House of Denial Hera. Both are 3D printed from high-quality nylon material. I consider them equal in quality. Neither is cheap, but the Hera (about $125 USD for all sizes) costs a little less than the Cobra (about $170). Kink3D offers an excellent sizing chart on the website, and House of Denial gives exact measurements on the website. So, it’s easy to find the right size using the measurements you take before ordering.

Yes, the internet is awash with cheap counterfeit Cobras by foreign manufacturers available on sites like Amazon, Etsy, and eBay (and many others) who have copied the Kink3D design. I’ve bought and reviewed a few of them in years past for the benefit of guys who just couldn’t afford the original, and got a few which were of reasonable quality and that fit well. But I no longer recommend buying knock-offs. The last one I bought was very poor quality and while advertised as 3D printed was actually molded resin. Despite the seller’s claims, you can’t be sure what material they have used and you can’t count on it being hypoallergenic or bacteria resistant. It’s your decision, but buyer beware. I think you would be better off to save up for a Hera or authentic Cobra.

Once you’ve found a plastic device that fits and you know your cage length and base ring size, then you can confidently spend the $300 to $400 to get a high-quality, custom-fitted stainless steel device if your heart is still set on metal.

Can You Help Me Find a Dominant Woman?

Because the email I received included personal details and I’m committed to protecting the privacy of readers who ask questions, I’m only posting the pertinent details of this question from reader Steve…

I have searched for years to find a woman to dominate me and cuckold me. There has to be someone that would spend time with me. Any help would be a blessing.

My assumption here is you are asking me for advice on how you can find this woman of your dreams who will dominate and cuckold you. In the email, you shared deeply personal circumstances that I feel sympathetic about. But my answer to the question is probably not what you want to hear. Still, I always strive to give honest and hopefully helpful answers to the questions readers send.

Given the personal details you shared with me, I believe your odds of finding the partner you seek through the usual ways we meet women, date, and form relationships are extremely low. Not zero, but definitely within spitting distance of zero. Your age is one factor I considered in making this assessment.

I believe your best bet for finding someone willing to explore your desires with you is to hire a professional instead of wasting time seeking a romantic relationship that’s unlikely to happen. Not that you couldn’t find someone to date, but the chances of finding someone to date interested in sharing the relationship you desire with you are very small. I’m familiar with the area where you live, having once lived in the same area for a while and know there are plenty of pro dommes doing business there. You shouldn’t find it hard to find one with an internet search.

Unfortunately, seeing a dominatrix is a luxury and isn’t cheap. Most charge around $300 per hour. Some charge a lot more. Also, while many do offer cuckolding services, it won’t be a true cuckolding experience with a pro. It will be much more of a voyeuristic than cuckolding experience, since you must be in an actual relationship with a woman for her to cuckold you. Maybe lower your expectations by omitting the cuckolding and focus on the domination aspects.

Again, probably not what you wanted to hear, but I’m certain, given your circumstances, seeing a professional domme is the most realistic option.

 

Punishment Pins Question

The third question I received this month was about punishment pins, sometimes called anti-pullout pins. Specifically, the reader was interested in knowing more about the punishment pins that Mature Metal offers as an option with the Jail Bird chastity device. I’ve already replied to the reader by email, but it occurred to me pullout pins aren’t something I’ve ever covered on the blog.

Actually, I have never used punishment pins with a chastity device. To be honest, that’s because I’m not interested in using them. But pcguy at Thrill of the Chaste has, and he’s written several posts about his experiences, beginning here for anyone interested. Besides those posts, I’ve also read about the experiences others have had using the pins in various chastity forums.

The Mature Metal punishment pins come in three sizes (short, medium, and long) with three tip options (blunt, crisscross, and spike). Based on what I’ve read, the short pins are tolerable but the longer ones can cause significant discomfort when the cage contents attempt to get hard. I doubt any of them are tolerable for extended periods of time, as one guy mentioned he couldn’t sleep with the pins in because it made nocturnal erections very painful.

Just from looking at the images on the MM website, I’d worry the spike pins could possible break the skin, which wouldn’t be good. And I read other guys saying the pins caused bruising and sore spots when they used them for only a few days. Lastly, I read an online article that said punishment pins could potentially cause nerve damage. None of that sounds fun to me so I’ll take a miss on using punishment pins.

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mail call

Mail Call: Chastity Related Questions November 2023

By on Saturday, November 18, 2023

It’s time once again to dig into the mailbag and to respond to the inquiries sent in by readers in this month’s edition of Mail Call: Chastity Related Questions.

This month, we received questions from two different blog followers about the same issue which suggests their chastity device related issues are something that may apply to our wider audience. Today we’re discussing the appearance of sores on the penis while wearing a chastity device and how to prevent them.

Here is the first email sent in by a reader named Jerry…

I have been using chastity cages for about 7 years but come upon the same problem every time I go for long periods. When I pee (sitting of course) some gets on /in the cage and I get sores, how can I prevent this?

Reader Ray wrote in with a similar issue…

Hello

I recently came across your website and find it very insightful & informative. It is nice to hear from a real living person of their experiences with a chastity device rather than just the marketing material on all the websites. Thank you.

I am very interested in buying a new metal cock cage that provides:

1. Ultra comfort for long-term use

2. Maximum security to prevent escape

My current metal cage is a “Jailhouse metal locking device”. I like the design that provides total enclosure of the penis, however, having worn this continually for 7 days and then taking it off (for a medical appointment) the top of my penis had 2 x cut marks (around the spacing section). The left side of the penis also had early signs of an infection of the foreskin. I shower daily and used Vaseline and baby oil to keep lubricated on a regular basis throughout the day.

So here is the request. I am hoping you can help me by providing me with:

A) 3 x recommendations for alternative metal device options that meet 1 & 2 above.

B) Any other ways to improve my daily hygiene to avoid cuts/infections?

Any feedback from you would be very greatly appreciated.

It’s always difficult to diagnose the specific problems individuals have when wearing chastity devices. Generally, readers who send in questions do a good job of describing their problem. But, not knowing them personally, I can’t, of course, know details about them that could shed light on the problem they share and seek a solution for. That’s the case with both of these situations, since the first thing I would want to know is the specifics of their hygiene habits.

I will do the best I can with what information I’ve got to work with it, but the truth is many things cause sores on the penis. Yet, with wearing chastity devices, poor hygiene habits are always the likely suspect. Not to say these guys are lazy about cleaning their peens. The design of many chastity devices can often make it damn difficult to clean the contents thoroughly enough to prevent problems.

A Clean Peen Is A Happy Peen

A recent survey by The Derm Review, a comprehensive online resource on skincare products, cosmetic ingredients and beauty how to’s, reveals 60 percent of men are washing their penises all wrong (more on that later), and many are not doing it enough. Toss a chastity device into the mix and it exacerbates what can become serious problems from poor hygiene practices. So, someone getting sores or infections on their Johnson after wearing a chastity device should first ask themselves if they are cleaning their penis properly and often enough.

Penis Washing Frequency

The consensus opinion of medical professionals is that we should wash our penis once each day. Some respondents to the survey I referenced reported they washed their penis at least twice a day. But this is a case where more is not always better. Washing too often can cause irritation, dryness, and itching. Still, not washing enough is worse than washing too often.

Infrequent washing results in unpleasant odors and makes your junk a natural breeding ground for bacteria that can cause painful sores and bacterial infections. Trapped urine, leaking semen, and the normal sloughing off of skin cells that also get trapped inside a chastity device contribute to these problems. A thorough cleaning once a day is the perfect frequency, medical professionals say. They also recommend using only warm water and shower gel or soap that is not heavily perfumed, which can cause allergic reactions. Be sure to wash the tip of your penis and, if you’re uncircumcised, pull back and clean beneath the foreskin. Obviously, that’s hard to do while wearing a chastity device, but it is possible (though not easy to do) with the use of cotton swabs.

While Jerry didn’t share what type of device he usually wears, Ray says he has worn a “Jailhouse metal locking device.” From his description of the device as one with a tube that encloses his penis completely, I think he may have described the very first chastity device I tried and found completely unsatisfactory. I didn’t get any sores from it, but I only wore it for a few days before discarding it. Ray’s device evidently worked for him well enough that he wore it continuously for seven days and then discovered the sores when he removed it. My first inclination is that Ray experienced a hygiene related problem, which is common with fully enclosing tube style cages.

While I don’t know what type of cage Jerry usually wears, he mentioned wearing chastity devices for the past seven years. So, I suspect his problem with sores is probably also related to hygiene issues. The longer we’ve worn chastity devices, the more prone we can become to not spending as much time and effort as is necessary to clean our junk properly. Anyway, my advice to Jerry and Ray is to first focus on proper washing and see if that solves their problem. If no improvement happens, then it’s probably time to see a doctor for a professional diagnosis.

My "Jailhouse" Chastity Device

Proper Chastity Hygiene Solutions

I know some people prefer the fully enclosing tube type cages. I have a few of them and I do enjoy the sensations the devices provide. But in the interest of good penis health and spending less time making sure I have washed thoroughly, I gravitated to the open-type “birdcage” devices. This means I spend less time in the shower washing and it’s less complicated. But here is my advice to those who prefer the tube type devices. Remove the devices at least every three days so you can wash your penis and clean the device thoroughly. And then dry your junk completely, including the tip beneath your foreskin if you’re uncut and the device before putting it back on.

Yes, I know it feels like a pain to unlock and lock every three days. But I think it’s an inconvenience you just must live with if you choose to wear a fully enclosed device. If you don’t want to do it, then it’s an easy fix. Get an open-style cage instead. There are plenty to choose from in both stainless steel and plastic. My two 3D printed devices, the Cobra and the Hera, both have sufficient openings to allow me to get a fairly thorough cleaning in the shower each day with no special equipment. Still, if I’m self-locking, I remove the device once a week to clean it and give myself a good scrubbing. That can be inconvenient when a keyholder is enforcing my chastity, so instead of removing the device, I use another technique to make sure I get an extra-thorough cleaning once a week.

The Squeeze Bottle Method

I found a cheap plastic bottle at a local dollar store that does a great job of helping me keep the cage contents tidy. First, I fill the bottle with some Dove fragrance free body wash and warm water. I spray the soapy solution into every nook and cranny of my cage. And then I use cotton swabs to scrub the contents of the cage as best I can. Once I’ve finished, I rinse the bottle thoroughly with warm water, fill it with plain warm water, and then again spray the water inside all the openings, including the top of the cage next to my abdomen. Usually I use two full bottles of plain warm water to make sure I’ve rinsed all the soap from inside the cage. Then after toweling dry, I use a blow dryer on low heat to dry the contents of the cage. Your junk does best when you keep the environment clean and dry. That’s why I don’t recommend using products like Vaseline or baby oil inside the cage. I only use a dab of baby oil inside the base ring when putting on the device.

Once You’re Confident You Are Washing Properly and Washing Daily

I’m not a doctor and don’t play one on television, which is why I would suggest only giving things a few days to a week for sores after making sure I was washing properly and daily to see any improvement. If the sores aren’t healing, it’s time to get professional help. Go see your doctor. Also, with infections, I’d recommend seeing a medical professional immediately before things get worse. That’s because poor hygiene practices and wearing chastity devices aren’t the only things that cause sores and infections of the penis. Things like undiagnosed diabetes, STIs, and skin disorders like psoriasis can also cause genital sores and infections, nothing you want to mess around with.

Chastity Device Recommendations

Both Jerry and Ray asked for chastity device recommendations, so I’ll end with that. First, I always recommend open “birdcage” type cages over the enclosed tube styles for continuous wear. It’s just easier to keep things clean and to avoid the issues you are experiencing. Second, I’m not a fan of cheap off-the-shelf chastity devices. We’ve probably all gone that route when we couldn’t justify the spend for a quality, custom-fitted stainless steel device. But if you intend to practice long-term chastity, invest in a quality cage.

The Mature Metal Jail Bird is one of my favorite stainless steel options. But the device offers only two locking options, padlock or security set screw. If you prefer the internal barrel lock system instead, I recommend Badassworkroom devices like my BA-21. The prices for the Jail Bird and the BA-21 are about the same. For a less expensive off-the-shelf option, a 3D printed device is a great choice. I love both my Cobra N and Hera. The nylon material and finishing used in both cases is hypoallergenic and bacterial resistant. I’ve worn the Cobra for multiple months without removing it with no problems and expect the same would be true of my Hera XS. I just haven’t had it long enough to find out yet.

Hopefully, that helps both Jerry and Ray and anyone else who may be experiencing similar problems.

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mail call

Male Call: Chastity Related Questions October 2023

By on Monday, October 30, 2023

Welcome to another edition of mail call where I give my best answers to chastity related questions blog readers have sent me. When a question is specific to the person who asks it, I respond by email. But when I get the same question from more than one reader or it’s something I think might apply to others, I answer the questions here during mail call.

Here are questions I’ve received during the past month from readers. I’m always happy to get your questions and hope you find my answers useful.

Ever thought about being a keyholder yourself?

I received this question from three different readers during the past month, and I actually get this question often. No one asking has ever identified their sexual orientation. But to be fair, everyone has only asked whether I’ve ever thought about becoming a keyholder myself in this generic sense. They haven’t asked me if I’d consider becoming their keyholder, so sexual orientation isn’t really germane. And frankly, sexual orientation wouldn’t be an issue, anyway.

I’m sure there are plenty of guys who might be open to having another male as their keyholder, whether they identify as straight, gay, or bisexual. And they probably wouldn’t care how the keyholder identified either.

A friend I have on Fetlife who is gay once asked me if I’d consider keyholding for him, and he knows I’m het. I considered it briefly because he’s a great guy I have lots in common with and enjoy having as a friend and conversing with regularly. Like me, he prefers having a remote keyholder and was having trouble finding one since he specifically was looking for a male keyholder. Ultimately, I decided against it for two reasons.

As said, I am straight. Please don’t hate me for my hetness. It’s just the way I am and I can’t do anything about it. I’ve known pretty much since puberty that I wasn’t gay because I’ve always felt such a strong sexual attraction to females. I love every single thing about a woman’s body and that’s what turns me on. But there was a time in my life I sort of wished I was bisexual.

The idea of men having sex with men has never been something I found weird or unnatural, and obviously bisexual men get to enjoy a much wider experience of their sexuality than I do as a straight guy. And like many other men, I’ve something fantasized about sexual scenarios involving men, but I never acted on it. I never explored bisexuality, mostly because no opportunities presented themselves and I never actively sought such opportunities. But I tried exploring it after a fashion through watching guy on guy porn.

What I discovered was I simply feel no sexual attraction to other men. Watching guys having sex with each other is interesting on many levels, but it just doesn’t arouse me. I can look at an attractive guy and appreciate that he is an attractive human being, but it doesn’t produce any desire to have sex with him. But show me an attractive woman and it’s a whole different story.

That’s a long lead in to the first reason I declined the opportunity to key hold for my friend. I love having him as a friend, but I’m not attracted to him sexually and except for relationships with pro keyholders, I think the sexual bit is an important part of the whole dynamic. The lack of sexual tension, I believe, would have made keyholding for my friend less than an enjoyable experience for both of us. For example, I wouldn’t have enjoyed teasing him and making his dick get hard and strain inside his cage because it just wouldn’t have turned me on.

Here is the other reason. During my salad days in the BDSM community, I believed I was a dominant, and I had relationships with several submissive women. I knew how to behave as a Dom and I had technical skills. All those women saw me as a Dom and I think we all had some great experiences together. But whenever I had been with a submissive woman for a few months, my interest in dominating her always waned. And soon what was supposed to be a D/s relationship became indistinguishable from a vanilla boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. Then the relationship would end because that wasn’t what she was looking for. She wanted a Dom who dominated her.

After a while and a lot of soul searching, I came to understand something. I wasn’t a Dom. Actually, I had more of a submissive streak and had always known how powerfully I felt attracted to the dominant women I met in the community. So, I hadn’t dominated the submissive women I’d been in relationships with. I had only topped for them until I grew bored with it. I’m sure I would have felt the same way in short order had I agreed to key hold for my friend. That’s because I don’t want someone to submit to my control because my nature is submitting to the control of someone else. In the end, I would have grown bored with keyholding for him and he wouldn’t have got the experience he wanted and deserved.

So, for those who may have wondered, yes, I have thought about becoming a keyholder. But I never have because I know I’m not suited for it. It wouldn’t be enjoyable for me or for the other person. A man has to understand his limitations.

I have the Kink3D Cobra N like you, and while I really like it, also like you, I’d love to try the Baby. But I just can’t justify the spend. What have you got instead of the Baby and do you like it?

This is another question I get frequently. I’ll answer it here, but with two caveats. Since I have never held a Kink3D Baby Cobra in my hot little hand, I can only offer my best guess on how the similar device I bought instead of the Baby stacks up. And, because of Locktober and Lucie’s wishes, I have only worn my alternative device for about twenty minutes, and that’s not a fair evaluation on which to base a valid comparison. That will change in about a week when I will give my new device, the Hera XS from The House of Denial, a proper wear test for a review. But here is my best guess.

Comparing the Cobra sizing advice published on the Kink3D website with the actual Hera measurements published on the House of Denial Website, I believe the Hera XS (extra small) model is probably very close to the same size as the Cobra Baby. But that’s only an informed guess. Still, I know the Hera XS is tiny, and forces my flaccid penis to turtle. I’m a fan of that, so I really love the fit.

As many of those who wrote to me stated, I would love getting a Kink3D Baby (if only to make a side-by-side comparison in my case). But like them, I just can’t justify the spend. As fine a device as the Cobra Baby may be, to me and it seems a lot of other guys it just isn’t worth $160. Since I already own a Cobra and have a base ring, I could order just the Baby cage, but I’m not even willing to spend the $120 required to get it.

Look, I get it. Kink3D is a private company. They have every right to charge whatever they want for their products and make as much profit as they can. I can afford to pay their prices, but I choose not to. Kink3D deserves to make a reasonable profit. They aren’t entitled to take advantage of their customers.

The Cobra is an excellent, high-quality device. But it’s a non-custom, off-the-shelf device that has already been widely copied. I would feel less guilt about buying a Cobra knock off than I’d feel buying a copy of virtually any other chastity device. That’s because the genuine 3D printed Cobra copies sell at tons of online sites for between $35 to $40. I don’t blame anyone who buys one of those inexpensive copies instead of forking over from $160 to $200 for a Kink3D original.

The Cobra has been one of the most successful chastity devices ever made, mostly because Kink3D got in on the ground floor of 3D-printed devices. 3D printers aren’t cheap, so it’s obvious the company wanted to recover the initial investment and start turning a profit as soon as possible. But I suspect they have long since recovered the original investment and the company now focuses on making as much profit as possible while the Cobra remains at the height of popularity.

Recently, Kink3D introduced the Fusion Pink model with the promise of more colors to come. And they boosted the price of the new colored models across the board by $40 and, depending on size, they go for $200 to $240. That adds more evidence to my maximum profit theory.

I have to believe that, eventually, Cobra prices will come down once everyone who wants a Cobra and will overpay for one gets a Cobra. Or in some cases, all the different Cobra models they want and are willing to pay for. Chastity and chastity devices are certainly more popular than ever, yet the number of guys into chastity still represents a tiny fraction of the total male population. In other words, it’s a limited market. Limited markets reach saturation. Kink3D won’t continue selling chastity devices at the current prices forever. So, I’m content to wait until prices fall to buy another Cobra, which they inevitably will. Until then, I’m jumping on the Hera train.

What I can tell you factually about the 3D-printed Hera, made exclusively for the House of Denial, is the quality of the device is every bit as good as that of the Cobra. The devices look similar at first blush, but there are significant differences. The Hera is not a copy of the Cobra. It’s an original design that in some respects is superior to the Cobra. One thing I love is the Hera’s much more generously sized urine outlet. And during my brief wear test, it seemed the gap of the Hera (distance between the base ring and cage) fit me much better than that of my Cobra N.

I like the Hera so much, I’ve already ordered the Hera S (small), the size I believe corresponds to the Cobra N, and this time I ordered a white one. I hope to get an accessory for my Hera soon similar to the Kink3D Cobra “Airlock” that allows you to use plastic, numbered locks directly on the cage and I know the House of Denial team is already working on that.

I saved $40 by buying the Hera XS instead of the Kink3D Baby. And I paid $50 less for the Hera S than the cost of my Cobra N. Extra Hera base rings are $10 cheaper than the Kink3D price, and you can buy just the Hera cages separately for $90, regardless of size. The larger the Hera you need for your size, the more you will save over a comparable Cobra model, since the Cobra price increase with each step up from the smallest to largest size. The Hera always costs the same, regardless of cage size.

Remember, the House of Denial is a UK company, so shipping cuts into your savings a little if you live outside the UK. I think I paid about $10 for the standard shipping, which isn’t much. And Kink3D charges for shipping too, though it’s a little less since they are a U.S. company. The bottom line is the Hera is a viable alternative to the Cobra, and costs less.

Like you, I prefer remote keyholders. You write so many wonderful things about Lucie. Why all the secrecy? Good remote keyholders are hard to find and I’d love to try her keyholding service. Can’t you tell me how to contact her or at least share how you found her?

Since I first introduced Lucie to blog readers, I consistently get questions similar to this one. It’s true. Lucie is amazing. She is the sixth remote keyholder I’ve used, and without doubt, the best keyholder I’ve ever had. Lucie is a professional. She runs her own business, both in real life and online, and she has a website that features her keyholding services. So, I’m not keeping her secret in a selfish attempt to keep her all to myself. Since I first met her, Lucie has been keyholding for lots of other guys, including her in real life boyfriend. I’ve never had her all to myself. Not even close. I gave her the pseudonym and don’t advertise her website on the blog because that’s how Lucie wants it. She has all the business she wants.

Lucie is a perfectionist and always aims to provide perfect keyholding services. Part of that in her view means limiting the number of guys she holds keys for at any given time. I respect that so much because obviously the more guys she takes on, the more money she could make. That shows Lucie isn’t just about the money. She actually enjoys dominating men and keeping them locked. Frankly, when I found her website, I just got lucky because she just happened to have an opening when I contacted her and applied. So, even if I had given out the link to her website as many have asked me to do, chances are she would have already had all the business she wanted already and wouldn’t have been available. Lucie gets a lot of repeat business and guys tend to stay with her once they find her.

It’s moot anyway at this point because, as I’ve shared, Lucie is stepping away from her online keyholding business for a while to recharge. She told me she has done this often in the past when she has felt burned out and isn’t enjoying keyholding the way she wants. And she says sometimes she doesn’t pick it back up for six months or even a year. So, Lucie won’t be available for the foreseeable future to anyone, not even to me.

I will share how I found her, because that was down to luck as well. I frequently do web searches for online keyholding just to stay abreast of what is available. But even though Lucie has had a website for a long while, not once did it ever come up in any of my searches. One day, almost six months ago, I was perusing a chastity thread on Reddit that I follow off and on, and that’s where I found the link to Lucie’s website. The rest, as they say, is history. Checking out the chastity threads on Reddit isn’t a bad place to look for a keyholder. I’ve talked to several guys who found their keyholders on Reddit.

Believe me, I fully understand how difficult it is to find a good remote keyholder, especially at a reasonable price. I’ve searched since last week for a potential replacement for Lucie since I know I don’t want to go six months or a year without a keyholder while Lucie is on sabbatical. I’ve noticed several things.

First, there aren’t nearly as many professionals offering online keyholding since the pandemic ended. Most pro dommes are now focusing on the more lucrative in person sessions. The last two I reached out to that still listed remote keyholding on their websites didn’t even bother to reply. I suspect they don’t do it anymore and just haven’t updated their websites.

The second thing I’ve noticed is professional dommes who do still offer remote keyholding have increased the price of tributes significantly. I’ve seen many who expect $300 to $500 per month. Lucie asked for significantly less than the smaller end of that scale, even when we first started and I was paying the standard rates. And where Lucie gives personalized teasing and lots of it, those charging the $300 to $500 per month promise only to do daily check ins and to send you an occasional text, email, or sexy photo. That’s the extent of the teasing they offer. If you want more than that, you must pay by the minute for video or Skype calls and that gets expensive quickly.

Finally, the third thing I’ve noticed is most of the professionals offering remote keyholding have migrated to the fan sites like Loyal Fans, Only Fans, etc. Some of those I’ve looked at seem legitimate pro dommes. But on those sites, tributes are the name of the game. These women won’t waste their time on guys who don’t consistently pony up the tributes.

Many of them offer remote keyholding at weekly or monthly tribute rates. But then they will nickel and dime you to death for supplementary tributes along the way and also probably pressure you to buy their video clips or stuff off their various gift lists. One woman I talked to who seems professional and very knowledgeable about chastity keyholding and tease and denial told me she expects daily tributes for her time from men she key holds for and requires them to pay the monthly subscription fee to access the premium content on her fan’s page. I could imagine you might spend as much or more than what the true professional dommes charge via their own websites.

I have no problem paying tributes for professional keyholding. Realistically, it is the only way to serve a distant keyholder online. And, I’m not cheap. I don’t haggle over the prices and I always tip generously for great service over and above the agreed tribute amount. But I have in mind the maximum price I’m willing to pay and it doesn’t approach $300 to $500 a month.

Well, there you have my answer to the questions about Lucie, plus I’m throwing in the extra bit about the difficulty of finding a good remote keyholder at a fair price, all at no extra cost.

That’s concludes this edition of mail call. Have a chastity related question you can’t find an answer to? Send it to me and I’ll try to answer it for you.

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Honor Chastity Revisted

By on Monday, July 3, 2023

While it is beginning to sound (and feel) a little redundant, it’s time for another episode of honor chastity revisted. So, in this post, I’ll also cover some other things.

More AI art

Back to Honor Chastity. Again.

While I had felt cautiously optimistic that Lucie might allow me to finish Chastity 90 locked, it was not to be. After eighteen days this time, she surprised me this morning by telling me to unlock for 72 hours. And she surprised me again with a week-long self-teasing schedule for me to do while she is away on a two-week summer vacation that she left on this afternoon.

The schedule has a different assignment for each day of the week, and I will repeat it next week. That, according to Lucie, should keep my arousal peaking until she returns from vacation. And she didn’t want me to feel locked and forgotten when I’m re-locked in a few days.

I know from experience while self-locking that the effectiveness of self-teasing can feel less than optimum. But this feels different since Lucie created the assignments and, frankly, they seem quite interesting.

Other than the requirement to perform edges on two different days each week, none of the other tasks are things she has given me to do before. And, I appreciate she spent the time and energy to create something to help maintain my focus while she is away. Lucie had already told me not to expect our usual daily interaction while she was on vacation, so I’d had been dreading a Lucie-less fortnight. Maybe the assignment schedule will help the time pass more quickly.

Update on My Kink3D Cobra N Device Experience

After spending another eighteen days in my Kink3D Cobra N chastity device, I feel compelled to update my experience with it. Love. Love. Love it. This may be my favorite long-term chastity device ever.

As a die-hard stainless steel device fan since my salad days with chastity devices, I admit I once felt pretty dismissive of plastic cages. Some of the great resin cages I’ve tried out for reviews had slowly chipped away at my disdain for plastic devices, but I give full credit to Kink3D’s 3D-printed nylon device for winning me over. I still love the weight and feel of my custom-made stainless-steel devices, and I’ll wear those again sometimes. But the last eighteen days convinced me that the Cobra might be the best long-term device option currently available.

There are three things I demand from a chastity device for long-term wear: fit, comfort, and ease of maintaining acceptable hygiene. The Cobra earned high marks in all three areas during my 18-day locked period.

First, the device felt completely comfortable. Usually when I’m wearing any device, especially when I first wake up in the morning, I feel some slight discomfort where the base ring runs beneath my balls. I attribute this to the changes the testicles undergo when a penis owner becomes sexually aroused.

Researchers tell us the testicles increase in size (not quite double) and move closer to the base of the penis to prepare for ejaculation when desire becomes arousal. So, when a guy wakes up with morning wood (or the attempt at morning wood for those of us wearing a chastity device) the conditions are ripe for these changes to occur. The increased size narrows the “ball gap” and the barrier the ring provides that keeps the testicles from rising closer to the base of the penis combine to produce the uncomfortable feeling of tightness.

While I can’t say it is painful, I find it uncomfortable enough to find it annoying. So, usually, the first thing I do every morning when locked is to step into the shower and spray hot water on my balls with the handheld until the heat forces them to descend further from my body to maintain optimum temperature. Not once during the past eighteen days did I experience this discomfort while wearing the Cobra. I can’t explain why, but my morning shower routine became unnecessary. And that’s only one reason I found the Cobra so incredibly comfortable to wear.

Now, let’s talk about hygiene. By design, the Cobra cage is an open-style cage. It comes very close to how open my favorite stainless-steel devices are. That allows me to clean the cage and contents thoroughly using soap and my handheld shower head. And when I removed the cage after eighteen days, I detected none of the funky odor you get with chastity cages that are difficult to clean while wearing them. Also, the skin of my penis was in pristine condition with no dryness or other issues.

While the Kink3D “airlock” performed flawlessly, I found it nearly impossible to thread the “shackle” end of the plastic lock through the locking housing of the device after mating the cage and base ring. The plastic is very stiff and it resists bending to slip through the small hole at the end of the housing. When I searched the web for a solution I found only a video that suggested threading the plastic lock through backwards instead of the way intended. That was easier, but it leaves the printed numbers facing down instead of up where the keyholder can read them. I felt sure Lucie would not be impressed with that.

After some experimentation, I stumbled on a very simple, and easy solution. I’ll make a video instruction when I have time since I’m not sure how clearly I can explain it using only text. But, you thread the free end of the plastic lock along the airlock as usual. It lays in a small channel and the tip goes through a tiny hole at the far end of the plastic pin. Then you join the cage with the base ring, but only the tab portion at the top of the cage with the hole through it that fits into the center of the base ring receiver. Tilt the nose of the cage up slightly to keep the tabs on each side away from where they snap into the base ring. Then, clamping that center tab and the base ring receiver together with the thumb and index finger of your right hand, insert just the tip of the locking pin into the lock opening and thread the end of the plastic lock through the hole in the center tab with your left hand fingers. You can then easily grab the free end of the lock and pull it through the partially open receiver housing to where it needs to be. Then, snap the cage and base ring together properly and push the plastic locking pin completely into the receiver and you’re ready to lock. It’s incredibly easy to do this way while trying to do it the way many videos on the webs show it is nearly impossible. It isn’t so difficult when you’re holding the device in your hand like they do on the videos. But using that method when you are wearing the device is a different matter.

Male Call Addendum - Cherry Keeper Ball Gap Question

After publishing the “Mall Call” post last time, I received another question from a blog follower about Cherry Keeper chastity devices and I didn’t want to delay answering it. Nikos wrote to say he has decided he wants a Cherry Keeper device. But since he has “high and tight” balls, he is concerned about the width of the “ball gap” and wanted to know whether the manufacturer offers options for a device with the wider gap.

Thanks for the question, Nikos. You called the device you are considering “Cherry Picker” but I am assuming you meant “Cherry Keeper” since you referred to the review I posted on that device. I know some international manufacturers have copied the Cherry Keeper design and are now selling counterfeit devices, and one such manufacturer in China calls its device “Cherry Picker.” So, I can’t be sure whether you spoke of the authentic device designed by Josielynn Jewell that she sells through her Shapeways.com Josielynn’s Body Jewelry shop, or one of the copied devices. Nevertheless, what I can tell you would apply, regardless.

The design of the Cherry Keeper (and devices copying the original design) along with 3D-printing technology doesn’t allow for adjustments to the ball gap width. 3D-printing is not cheap. Profit comes from mass producing items based on a single design as it would be cost prohibitive to offer customization to individuals down to the level of ball gap width of a chastity device. Not to say there aren’t some variances of ball gap width. But the Cherry Keeper (and copiers of the design) rely on the same method as a company like Kink3D to offer narrower or wider ball gaps. Ball gap is a function of base ring size, which isn’t a perfect method.

The authentic Cherry Keeper now comes in about three dozen different models, all called “Cherry Keeper.” So, I just selected a representative model, the Cherry Keeper Standard. Here is a list of the ball gap measurements by base ring size.

Ball Gap Spacing (static): 
36mm ring: 10.9 mm
38mm ring: 11.6 mm
40mm ring: 12.5  mm
42mm ring: 13.6 mm
44mm ring: 15.0 mm
46mm ring: 16.5 mm
48mm ring: 18.2 mm
50mm ring: 20.0mm

Source: Josielynn’s Body Jewelry

Here is why this isn’t a perfect method. Say you know a 40mm base ring is the perfect size for you, but you feel a 12.5 mm gap is too narrow for your physiology. To get a wider gap, you would have to try a larger than perfect-sized ring. Maybe the 42mm or 44mm, or something even larger.

The problem is, if you go too much larger than what is your optimum size, you may experience problems with a testicle popping out of the base ring when wearing the device. But if you truly need a wider gap, using a bigger ring than you actually want is the only solution.

My ideal base ring size is 42mm and so with the Cherry Keeper I get a 13.6 mm ball gap. That’s roughly 9/16 inch using imperial units of measurement. While that is a bit over 1/2 inch, I still find it works for me with the Cherry Keeper, even though I usually have ball-slippage issues with devices having a gap that wide. I too have high and tight balls and a 3/8 inch (9.525 mm) gap works perfectly for me.

Since I can’t imagine anyone has balls that are higher and tighter than mine, I’m curious how you know you need a wider gap than the usual set by the manufacturer? That’s because ball gap is impossible to measure, meaning measuring ourselves the way we measure length and girth of the penis and circumference of a circle around the penis base and behind the scrotum for base ring sizing. Personal experience, I imagine. Like I once tried a device with a 1/4 inch gap and within minutes, it felt like the base ring was crushing my balls. And I’ve tried several devices with a 1/2 inch gap and one of my testicles always popped out of the ring. After trying multiple devices with 3/8 inch gaps, I learned that was my ideal ball gap measurement.

Anyway, I’d suggest visiting the Josielynn’s Body Jewelry website, https://www.shapeways.com/shops/josielynn-s-body-jewellery and reviewing the specifications for the specific model you are interested in. If you’re considering a knock-off, then just take a look at the website and choose the model that looks most similar to what you’re thinking of getting. Those who copy designs from other manufacturers almost always buy and then reverse engineer an original they intend to copy. So, I have high confidence the measurements will be exactly the same. Then, if you believe you know your ideal ball gap, try a base ring size that’s closest to the gap width you need. The Cherry Keeper base rings are relatively cheap (around $20), so maybe try two or three to see what works best.

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Mail Call: Urethral Chastity Devices Question

By on Tuesday, June 27, 2023

Welcome to another edition of mail call where I do my best to answer questions from readers of this blog. The question today is about urethral chastity devices.

Don, a new visitor to the site, is getting back into chastity. He asked about my take on catheter use with a chastity cage. These devices, sometimes called urethral chastity cages, include either a rigid, all metal catheter or a length of silicone tubing with metal connections with friction ridges that slide into the tubing at each end. First, welcome to the site, Don. I hope you find something of value here and I appreciate you sending me the question.

It seems, based on the discussions I’ve seen on various chastity forums recently, urethral chastity cages have quite a following because of the popularity of “flat” micro-chastity devices. Also, many who use catheters believe it is a way of making the cage more secure for those who want increased security but have no interest in getting a PA piercing. I can imagine having a catheter inserted in the penis does at least make it more difficult to withdraw the penis from the back of the device. Yet, the truth is, no chastity cage is completely secure. Ball trap device security, even with a PA attachment is mostly fantasy. With the motivation, and in some cases proper tools, a person can escape from any locked chastity device.

Let me say here at the beginning, I have never worn a urethral chastity device. I once bought a micro-chastity device that came with one, but after inspecting the catheter, I tossed it. It was one of those with a length of tubing with metal connectors at the ends. No way was I going to shove that inside my dick.

Maybe they work fine and the fitting at the end you insert into your urethra will never come loose from the tubing. But I’m a firm believer in Murphy’s Law. “Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.” Losing one of those steel connections inside the urethra means an embarrassing and expensive visit to the emergency room and hoping a doctor can extract it without surgery. Nope, not going there.

If I was keen to try a urethral chastity device, which I’m not, the only type I’d try is one with a rigid, one-piece, medical grade stainless-steel catheter. But that’s another problem. With most of the urethral cages coming from China, how can you be sure what kind of metal they make the catheter from (or the attachable ends for those with plastic tubing)? You can’t. I did come across a U.S. company that sells after-market chastity cage catheters they claim are made from medical grade stainless steel and medical grade silicone tubing for the types with the connectors at each end. I’d be more inclined to check out that company thoroughly and then buy the catheter from them if I felt satisfied that the company seemed trustworthy.

To be honest, I think people interested in urethral chastity cages probably are more into the fetish aspect of sticking things into their dicks than looking for added security. It’s actually a common fetish and there are all kinds of things designed for those who are into it, such as; urethral sounds, penis plugs, etc. And it’s classified as serious kink play that’s best left to people who know what the hell they are doing.

Also, I recently read a medical paper on the topic of some mentally ill people with penises who stick things like pencils, wooden matches, nails, wire, and screws inside their dicks with the intention of injuring themselves, and then they appear at an emergency room regularly for treatment of injuries or help extracting an object stuck inside their penis.

Getting back to Murphy’s Law, I can think of plenty that could go wrong using a urethral chastity cage. I will even discount the chance of one of those detachable friction connectors getting lost inside one’s dick. Here are a few other risks.

Urinary tract infection (UTI) anyone? I’m pretty sure I remember a post on Thumper’s blog about how he got a UTI after trying out a cage with a catheter that ended with a trip to the emergency room. And from what I’ve read on chastity forums, that is quite common. The urethral opening of a penis stays closed unless discharging fluids for a reason. It helps keep bacteria out of the urethra. Bacteria getting into the urethra is what causes UTIs. When you insert something into your pee hole, even if it is sterile going in, it still provides a pathway for bacteria.

When medical professionals prescribe catheters for patients who need them for medical reasons, they instruct patients to carefully clean around the urethral opening and the exposed portion of the catheter daily. That is to lower the risk of getting a UTI. A chastity cage would make it difficult if not impossible to do this effectively each day without removing the cage first. And the designs I’ve seen make me think you might also have to remove the catheter to clean it and reinsert it daily as well.

Next up on our Murphy’s list is penile necrosis (gangrene of the penis), which medical professionals say is one of the risks that comes from inserting a foreign object into the penis. That can cause an infected injury to the delicate urethral tissue. This can result in acute urinary retention, septic shock with multiple organ failure, and the spread of penile gangrene to the scrotum and fascia (Fournier gangrene). It is treatable if a person seeks medical help in time, but depending on the treatment required, that can produce erectile dysfunction, chronic pain syndrome, or penile deformity. It’s rare, but penile necrosis can happen from an accidental injury.

Fistulae wounds are another possibility when putting stuff into the urethra. These are traumatic injuries that often result in infections and painful inflammation. Forcing something, particularly something too large into your urethra could cause such injuries. And like most off-the-shelf chastity devices, those with catheters come with one-size-fits-all catheters.

Although there are other possible medical complications from inserting foreign objects into the urethra through the penis, urethral strictures are the last Murphy’s possibility we’ll consider. Urethral strictures occur when scarring occurs inside the urethra, narrowing it, and impairing the flow of urine from the bladder. This can cause leaking urine, incontinence, infections of the urethra and bladder, or chronic renal failure. Medical catheter insertion is one of the most common causes of urethral strictures. How much riskier might sex toy catheters be?

So, Don, probably more than you wanted to know, but I would not use a chastity cage with a catheter nor would I recommend it. Too much could go wrong. When I look at the risk-reward ratio, I don’t see enough benefits to justify the risks.     

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Mail Call: July Reader’s Questions and Answers

By on Monday, July 25, 2022

I received three questions recently that I want to answer here since the topics may interest other Cut to the Chaste readers.

Cherry Keeper Device Review Question

The first comes from Peter R. who asked about my review of the Cherry Keeper device. Peter writes…

Re. your review on the Cherry Keeper, specifically your comment that it was easy to remove. Did you have the “Headlock” feature in the device that you were testing? As per the Cherry Keeper website: “No device of this style is 100% secure, but HeadLock makes it so that a serious effort must be put in to escape.” The two statements are contradictory unless you didn’t have the HeadLock feature, and if you did, then the device will not satisfy my expectations.

Hi Peter, and thanks for your question. No, I did not test the Cherry Keeper with the HeadLock feature, and agree the statements you quoted from the manufacturer’s website are contradictory. And, as I mentioned in the review, I found it much easier to escape from the Cherry Keeper than many of the devices I’ve tested. That’s why I mentioned it in the review even though, as the statement you attribute to the Cherry Keeper manufacturer’s website says, “No device of this style [ball-trap device] is 100% secure.” All it required was pushing the locking mechanism at the top of the base ring away from my abdomen with my left thumb. That created plenty of a gap between the ring and my abdomen to allow me to work my flaccid member easily out of the cage and base ring, using my right index finger. I took about ten seconds. While I’ve found that same thing possible with other devices, it usually requires far more effort.

Since I’ve not tested a Cherry Keeper device with the HeadLock feature, I can’t say whether it makes the device more secure or not. But I have my doubts which is why I didn’t order a device that offered the option.

According to the manufacturer’s website, “The HeadLock feature adds a smaller ring to the entrance to the cage, restricting the opening in such a fashion as to hold the head in place.” It’s been my experience that whatever you can insert a peen through you can usually withdraw it from. And the true issue is, as I described, the ability of the wearer to gain access to the flaccid shaft between the body and the back of the base ring. I can’t imagine how having an extra, smaller ring at the base of the cage on the front side of the base ring would change that much.

Different folks find wearing a male chastity device appealing for different reasons. For example, some view a chastity device from the perspective of their interest in bondage. So, naturally, the security of the device is of paramount concern to them. These folks like the thought of having their penises hopelessly imprisoned inside an inescapable device that renders them completely helpless. But for penis owners without a piercing that they can incorporate into the security of the device, 100% security, like it or not, is not reality. It’s only an illusion that requires suspension of belief.

I know of folks who want 100% security so much, they superglue the locks of their devices or break the keys off in the locks. That might be a testament to their commitment to permanent chastity, but it doesn’t make their devices inescapable. Some devices are definitely more difficult to remove when locked than others, but a motivated guy can escape from any ball-trap device, period. And he probably won’t even need any tools to do it. A flaccid penis is simply too pliable and squishy to prevent it.

Here is my take on male chastity devices. It’s the symbolism of male chastity that matters most, not whether a chastity device is inescapable. For me, a chastity device is an anti-temptation measure, since one of the main reasons I wear them is because I want control over my masturbation frequency, something I struggled with a lot before I discovered chastity devices. And wearing a locked cage or tube has helped me tremendously.

I may not have the willpower to resist masturbating more often than I think I should or want to, but I have enough not to remove or escape from my device to do it. So, it doesn’t matter to me that my device isn’t realistically 100% secure and that I could escape it if I wanted. I have no interest in escaping. If I did, I wouldn’t waste money on buying the devices unless I also felt willing to get a Prince Albert (PA) piercing. A ring through a PA (or maybe a frenum piercing) that is hooked inside a locked chastity device cage or tube and not accessible is the only realistic way to prevent a guy from escaping a locked ball-trap device.

It wasn’t my intention to be overly critical of Cherry Keeper devices. They perform the function the manufacturer designed them for. For someone looking for a lightweight device and feels no temptation to escape from it while locked, they are well-designed, aesthetically pleasing, and functional. But they aren’t in my experience as secure as other devices I’ve tried.

Can I Get the Smoothness of a Metal Device and Weight of Plastic

The next question comes from Rob P. who asked if it were possible to find a device that offers the smoothness of steel, which he prefers, but with the light-weight of a plastic device he needs. Rob writes…

I have several devices and like the weight of the printed devices from custom chastity. But prefer metal as I get less chaffing. But the weight of the metal is a problem even with custom devices from mature metal. Any thoughts on how I get the smoothness of metal with the weight of plastic?

Ps I enjoyed your books

Hello Rob, and thanks so much for mentioning the books. I’m pleased you enjoyed them. Ah, nirvana. The silky smoothness of steel with the feather weight lightness of plastic. I’m sure many guys wish for that same thing.

First, the obvious response. Sadly, I do not know of any 3D printed device with the smooth feel of stainless steel. I’m very much a fan of steel devices myself, and so I know exactly what you mean. And I prefer steel to any plastic device I’ve tried, including the 3D printed ones. Personally, I like the weighty feel of stainless steel, so that’s not a problem for me other than when working out or going for a long run. And I have invested in plastic devices to wear for those activities. But I now own a stainless device that is so lightweight I don’t have to exchange it for plastic even when running. It’s the Amicus, a partially customizable device from Male Chastity Now.

I ordered the shortest cage length available, and it is unbelievably lightweight for stainless steel. I estimate it weighs less than half as much as my Mature Metal Jail Bird, maybe even less than that. It feels so light that I frequently forget I’m wearing it and have no issues when wearing it for running.

The owner of Male Chastity Now, a U.S. company, has always got the cages for the Amicus from a China-based supplier to keep the price low, and the quality is first rate. Then he makes the base rings. Unfortunately, his supplier has disappeared, so the Amicus isn’t available right now. But Male Chastity Now offers a fully customizable device, the Contender, which is every bit as lightweight at the Amicus with comparable cage lengths. So, that might be one option for you if the aesthetics of the device appeal to you.

Another custom maker of stainless devices, Badass workroom, also a China-based company that I’ve recently bought two different devices from also produces some high quality, beautifully crafted stainless steel devices that are far lighter than either of my Mature Metal devices. That could be another option. Badass workroom also manufacturers many of their models in titanium, which makes them about forty-five percent lighter than the lightest stainless steel models. That might definitely offer the smoothness of metal with a weight comparable to plastic.

I’m aware of Custom Chastity and they have a line of interesting devices, but I’ve never worn one and know little about the company. But I do own three 3D printed devices from three different manufacturers and so I know a little about how they make them. The last one I bought has the smoothest surface. The first one I got, one of the first available, has a surface that is quite rough, almost pebble-like. I had to do a lot of work on that one using a mini rotary sander because the base ring caused unbearable chaffing. So it seems the technology is improving and the device surfaces are getting smoother. But I also understand the smoother they make them, the more expensive the process. Still, with my experience with them, I don’t see any plastic device ever offering the satisfying smooth feel of steel.

I’m only guessing here, based on my experiences, but I’m assuming your biggest problem with chaffing comes from plastic base rings but the smoothness you’re after that you mentioned you enjoy probably has to do with the interior of the tube or cage. No matter how advanced 3D printing becomes, I can’t imagine you ever will get that feel from a plastic device. So, I’d say, titanium might be your best bet for getting the best of both worlds. Hopefully, before the end of the year I’ll get the chance to order, wear test, and review one of the titanium models from Badass workroom.

Thanks for the question and for supporting my books.

How to Put on a Chastity Device With One Hand

The last question comes from Jack T. who asked if I could offer any advice to someone with the use of only one hand for putting on a chastity device. I received Jack’s question through the contact page and the system delivered the email to me as it ideally does when someone completes the contact form. But I can’t access the email today for some reason, which is always annoying. Still, I can remember what Jack shared, so I’m relying on memory for this one.

The gist is Jack has use of only one hand, and his partner is unavailable to help at that moment, but he wants to wear his device. After many attempts, however, he hasn’t found a way to put it on by himself with only one hand.

Hi Jack,

Thanks so much for the question, and I’m sorry you’re having difficulties. Like you, I tried putting on a chastity device using only one hand to see if I could and wasn’t able to do it. Getting the tube or cage on and locked with one hand seems doable, but getting the base ring on with only one hand seems pretty near impossible. From my experiments, it seems if you could get your testicles into the ring, you could probably hold the ring with one hand and push the flaccid penis through with a thumb. But getting both testicles into the ring is the obstacle. I can get one inside pretty easily, but not both. Admittedly, I’m not the most coordinated guy on the planet, so someone with more dexterity could possibly do it. Still, I’m afraid I can’t offer you a solution. Maybe someone reading this, more clever than I am, might have an idea and will post it in the comments for you. Take care, Jack, and thanks for following the website.

That’s it for mail call this month. The comment form facility seems like it’s working properly for a change as these questions all arrived in my inbox like they were supposed to. When checking the spam folder where the questions had been going, I found only actual spam. So, if you have a question, give it a try. Also, don’t forget you can always slide into my DMs on Twitter with a question if you have a Twitter account.

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Mail Call: A Question About Chastity Cage Inner Diameter

By on Saturday, May 7, 2022

In this edition of Mail Call, I answer a question about chastity cage inner diameter.

Mail call! I dug deep into my spam folder for this one, so apologies for my untimely reply to the guy who asked the question. I still haven’t figured out how to get Gmail to play nice with my contact form. More often than not, the messages go to spam. I try to remember to check regularly, but I’ve had a lot of projects going on lately. So, sorry about that. If you have Twitter, you can always DM me there with your questions or comments.

Anyway, to the question. Brandon writes:

 

“Hey there I’m new to chastity and have bought 3 cages for myself. One is still on its way. The 2 I have are a CB6000S and a Ternence ‘window of opportunity’ 1.97 inch. The tube diameter is too small for the penis. I was able to fit into the Ternence with lots of lube. I realized I have alot of foreskin below the head (circumcised) that get in the way of the penis fitting in the tube. Also getting totally flaccid isn’t easy but it isn’t fully erect either. What’s the problem and where do I go from here?”

  

Hi Brandon, 

My first question would be, did you take the time to accurately measure your peen before ordering the cages you mentioned? Sometimes,depending on the design of the device, guys have to use the “stocking method” to coax their penises all the way into a cage or tube. However, it should never be necessary to use any lube, much less lots, to accomplish that. That’s a good sign that the cages you mentioned are too tight. Even if you manage to get into it, it could be the cage is exerting continuous compression on your penis, even when it’s flaccid. You don’t want that. You don’t want a lot of extra space inside a cage (inner diameter or length) but it shouldn’t feel tight as soon as you put it on, or try.

The thing is, mass-produced chastity devices, including the two you’ve bought, are designed for guys with average size penises. Average penis flaccid diameter (circumference divided by pi) is a few decimal places over 1.20 inches (about 31mm). The Ternence you mentioned has an inner diameter of about 32mm (1.25 inches). The CB6000S has an inner diameter of about 35mm (1-3/8 or 1.375 inches). So both are well within the range that works for guys with average size penises. Since that doesn’t seem to be the case with you, you’re probably looking at buying a custom-made cage that fits your actual measurements. Happily, today there are many affordable custom-made cages available. And I suspect you’ve already spent at least half the cost of a customized cage on the three cages you’ve already bought. Why keep throwing good money after bad?

As far as the excess foreskin, I have the same thing and have never found it a problem with a well-fitted cage. I’m average and a 1-3/8 inches inner diameter cage or tube fits me perfectly. I can get into a 1.25 inches cage, but it feels tighter than I like.

Yes, for some guys, a chastity device can be something of a fetish object, which might explain why you get hard while trying to put one on and that makes things difficult. The obvious answer is to ejaculate before you put a cage on, and problem solved. Otherwise, a cold shower or holding a bag of frozen peas against your unruly member for a couple of minutes will probably do the trick.

So, in summary. My advice is to measure your penis before ordering another cage that doesn’t work for you. I suggest measuring your flaccid peen three times a day over three days. Then either take an average, or do what I do and go with the smallest measurement you get. You can use a short length of string (the string method) or a shoelace. Wrap it around your soft shaft and then use a ruler or tape measure to measure the length of the string used. Or, even easier, use a soft tailor’s tape and save a step. Remember, the result will be the circumference of your flaccid penis, so divide that by pi (3.14) to get diameter. That’s the measurement that corresponds to the inner diameter of a chastity cage or tube.

Hope that helps and good luck, bud. Thanks for the question.

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chastity device wear

February 2021 Chastity Question of the Month

By on Wednesday, February 10, 2021

From time to time, I receive questions from readers, especially about chastity device fitting issues. I thought I’d start answering questions in a post that might benefit others having similar issues. Here is the February 2021 Chastity Question of the Month.

The Question

“Hello! I’m on my 2nd cage. I’m between sizes (45 slips out, 40mm too tight and chafes), so I’ve got a 42mm 3d printed cage. Ring passes finger test, and cage is 3/4-in shorter than my measurements. However, the base ring still rubs a lot, and causes me to take it off after 3-5 days. I’ve tried Vaseline and aquaphor 4ish times a day, still seems to happen. Any advice on what could be causing it? I’ve got a 3D printed cage and I sanded down the base ring so it’s very smooth.”

Since I don’t know the specific cage the reader is wearing, I have to give an answer here that is pretty generic.

The Surface of 3D-Printed Cage Can be Abrasive

First, let’s talk about 3D-printed cages. Since I have one, I am familiar with a common issue. 3D-printed cages tend to have rough surfaces. It’s not quite like sandpaper, but the base rings can feel that way on your tender bits and will cause chafing and discomfort. In this case, the reader told me he was aware of that potential issue and sanded down the base ring until it was smooth. So, we can eliminate that as the cause of the chafing and discomfort that forces him to take the device off after 3-5 days of wear. Still, the need to sand down a 3D-printed base ring is something some guys may not know about it, so that’s why I covered it here.

Base Ring Considerations

Getting the base ring size right shouldn’t be that difficult. You take an accurate measurement of the distance around the base of your penis and behind your balls, and that’s the size you should get. But many guys, including me in my early days, have had problems choosing the right size base ring. Like many others, I did not trust the measurements when I first got into wearing chastity devices.

In my case, I had ball slippage issues with the first couple of cages I tried. Intuitively, it seemed going to a smaller base ring was the answer to the problem. But it wasn’t. Going smaller sometimes solved the ball slippage problem, but wearing a too-small ring invariably causes chafing and discomfort. It took a lot of trial and error for me to get that through my head.

Here, the reader says he feels he is “between sizes” and feels the 45mm ring is too large because he has the slippage issue. He tried a 40mm ring, which he found was too tight. Then he went to a 42mm with a 3D-printed cage. I have to wonder if 45mm was the size his measurements called for, but he abandoned it because of the slippage problem. My guess is the problem here is not a base ring sizing issue.

Again, through much trial and error, I discovered that it usually results from an incorrect gap when you have ball slippage problems. The gap is the distance between the base ring and the cage once you mate the two pieces together. I also learned that you could wear a base ring that’s too large without much of a problem as long as the gap is right.

The Pesky Gap

First, there is no way to measure your junk and to get an accurate gap measurement. Custom manufacturers will tell you that. If you choose an off-the-shelf device, it doesn’t matter anyway because the manufacturer sets the gap measurement, and it is what it is. That’s why you can sometimes wear one off the shelf, mass-manufactured cage, but another one won’t work.

I have tried a few inexpensive off the shelf steel devices where I could make a slight adjustment to the gap. But I’ve broken more than one device trying to do that.

Most custom cage manufacturers, including some of the 3D-printed cage manufacturers, can customize the gap for you. But since there is no way to measure the gap, it’s still largely a trial and error proposition. Still, with a custom device, at least with steel cages, you can send the cage back and have the gap adjusted later if needed.

Mature Metal recommends ordering a 3/8-inch gap because they say that works for ninety-percent of their customers. I agree and took their advice when I ordered my first Mature Metal cage and found 3/8-inch works for me. The gap measurement is determined by what type of scrotum you have. Guys with a high and tight scrotum might need to move up to a 1/2-inch gap. Those with loose scrotums where the testicles dangle might need to choose a 1/4-inch gap. But 3/8-inch is the average. With a 1/2-inch gap, I always have ball slippage issues. I tried a 1/4-inch gap once, and it felt like the base ring was ripping my balls off. Now let’s talk about how the gap comes into play.

Scrotums are Weird

You’ve probably noticed your scrotum and balls are in a constant state of flux. There is a reason for that. Sperm does best in an environment where the temperature is slightly less than our normal body temperature. That’s why our testicles hang outside the body in the fleshy sack called the scrotum.

Muscles in the scrotum move the testicles closer or farther away from the body to keep the temperature optimum for sperm production and survival. That’s why when you finish a hard run and you’re hot and sweaty, you notice your scrotum is soft, and your balls hang a little more than usual. When you spend time outside in the cold, the opposite thing happens. Your scrotum skin is firm and tight, and your balls are up close to the base of your penis.

The effects mentioned above happen whether you’re wearing a ball-trapping chastity device or not. When your scrotum pulls your balls up close to the base of your cock against a chastity device base ring, it can feel uncomfortable, at times even when you’ve nailed proper sizing.

The Cremaster Muscle

The cremaster muscle, a pelvic muscle found only in males, covers the testicles. It’s the primary muscle that moves and lowers the testicles to control the temperature that promotes healthy and motile sperm. The cremaster muscle is incredibly strong. When the muscle starts pulling your balls upwards, and you’re wearing a ball-trapping chastity device with a base ring, you know it.

Even with a cage that generally feels comfortable, you may experience short periods of discomfort when the cremaster is doing its thing. When this happens, if you check out your balls, you will find your scrotum feels tight and hard compared to how it feels at other times during the day.

The cremaster muscle also causes the ball slippage problems when you wear a chastity device with a gap size that is too wide. Similarly, if the gap size is too narrow, the cremaster muscle is the cause of the rather intense pain you may feel when the muscle is drawing your balls tightly against a base ring.

If the gap is too wide, when the muscle pulls your balls tightly into the gap, a testicle can flatten out just enough to escape from the base ring into the gap. Sometimes you know when it happens because there is a flash of pain. Other times you may only realize it happened when you become aware that things feel a bit off with the cage. You drop your pants and check and discover one of your testicles has escaped the base ring. Usually, it’s the one that tends to hang a little higher than the other.

My Advice to the Reader

Here is my advice to the reader who submitted the original question. If you’re sure you’ve sanded down the 3D-printed base ring where it is completely smooth, then you’re having the chafing and discomfort because the 42mm ring is too small. I would remeasure for the base ring and make sure you get an accurate measurement. Then take a look at the gap.

While we can’t accurately measure our package to determine gap width, you can assemble the device and measure the gap that has been set. Also, many manufacturers include the gap setting in their specs. My guess is, in your case, the gap is too wide, and that’s why you had a slippage problem while wearing the 45mm ring, not because the ring was too large.

If the 45mm ring was comfortable to wear, didn’t cause chafing and discomfort, and conforms to your actual base ring measurement, I’d go back to that and address the gap issue. I don’t know what specific device you’re wearing, but some 3D-print device makers can adjust the gap setting by providing a different base ring. If the company that made your device can’t do that, then, unfortunately, you may have to go to a different device.

The key takeaway is that a base ring should never feel overly uncomfortable and shouldn’t cause chafing or pain from friction after more than three to five days. Your skin usually toughens enough to acclimate to wearing a base ring in that amount of time when you’ve used lubricant. Being unable to continue wearing a device for more than a few days because of discomfort indicates something is off with the sizing. In this case, I feel certain your problems stem from incorrect gap sizing and not from the base ring.

Hope that answered your question.

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