professional keyholding Archives

You Don’t Have to Become a Dominatrix to Be a Chastity Keyholder

By Chaste on Saturday, September 2, 2023

It’s been a while since I’ve posted something specifically for women. So, today let’s see why you don’t have to become a dominatrix to be a chastity keyholder.

Trawling the male chastity forums as I often do, I see this question or some variation of it again and again.

“How do I get my wife to dominate me?”

My answer to that question is you can’t. Not unless she wants to do it. And here is one of the biggest problems that crops up when a guy screws up the courage to admit to his wife or partner he wants her to lock his genitals in a chastity cage and take possession of the keys.

As women are prone to do, she immediately turns to the Internet to find out what in the world has come over her husband and what it is he is asking her to do exactly? Invariably, she runs headlong into all the porn and fiction surrounding male chastity that proliferates the web, and gets immediately turned off by the entire idea. She isn’t a dominatrix type and has zero interest in becoming one. “Cuckolding? Eww! That’s disgusting!”

First, the good news. You don’t have to develop an interest in wearing leather or shiny latex outfits. You don’t have to learn how to wield a flogger, paddle, or rattan cane. The fact is, you don’t have to become a dominatrix to be a chastity keyholder. You don’t even have to be an actual sexual dominant or embrace the philosophy of female superiority.

Your partner or husband isn’t asking you to become something you’re not. He is only asking you to lock up his genitals with what I admit at first blush probably looks like a ridiculous little plastic or metal thing and to take full control of his penis, orgasms, and his access to sexual pleasure. Yes, he also wants you to tease him now and again to keep his libido peaking because erotic sexual denial isn’t much fun without it. But most women, I’d say the vast majority of women, are more than capable of doing all this. Even women who may prefer the submissive role in the bedroom.

Now the bad news. A good keyholder should really want to be a keyholder. You don’t have to visit chastity forums too often to come across cases where a wife or partner is trying to dominate her man, or her man is trying to make her a keyholder, but it isn’t working because she doesn’t actually want to control him.

I think a lot of women pretend to want to enforce their partner’s chastity because they are trying to please him. They understand how much their partner wants this. They love him, and naturally they try to please him by being as domly as they can. But any self-respecting guy sees through this easily. It never really works.

You don’t have to become a dominatrix to be a keyholder, but my view is if your heart isn’t in it, leave it alone. Yes, your partner will feel dissatisfied. But it’s better to be honest. Here, a half a loaf is not better than no bread at all. A pretend keyholder is worse than no keyholder at all.

If your partner really, really wants chastity, and you aren’t that way inclined, why not let someone else lock and supervise him instead? This isn’t as strange as it might sound. Some couples find a pro domme and make the arrangement work.

Your partner wouldn’t get a girlfriend on the side. It doesn’t work that way. He would merely pay for professional chastity services in an arrangement that is quite similar to paying a dentist or a therapist for their professional services. And you can get involved in it as much or as little as you wish. The best part is you would still reap all the benefits of having a more pliable and attentive partner. Locked and denied boys are the best boys, no matter who does the locking.

enforced male chastity

Life In the Fast Lane

By Chaste on Thursday, July 27, 2023

“Life in the fast lane

Surely make you lose your mind.”

– Eagles, “Life in the Fast Lane”

Guys! Guys! Can you believe it? It’s only two days and a few hours until the end of Chastity 90! Well, at least for me and anyone who took up the challenge when I did back on the first day of May. If you did, or if you started the challenge a little later as I know a few guys did, I hope you’ve been successful. I suppose I have no reason to celebrate since, according to Lucie, I won’t be getting a release any time soon even when my Chastity 90 ends.

Speaking of Lucie, she has teased me with a vengeance since returning from vacation, giving me a task to complete every single day. It’s life in the fast lane. I suspect she wants me to suffer as much as possible until the end of Chastity 90. Of course, she is only making it more enjoyable and making the days pass faster by keeping my arousal level peaking continuously.

My dedication to completing the task list she left me before going on vacation impressed Lucie. She has “rewarded” me by telling me she will keep me locked a lot longer this time. For how long, I have no clue. Now that I’m accomplished with prostate milking, she is no longer concerned with making me unlock periodically for health and safety reasons. Lucie has also added another wrinkle to our relationship.

While I’ve been a distance runner since my junior high days, I’ve really slacked on working out for about the last year and a half. I blame it on the effects of the pandemic hangover. Slacking, combined with my love of beer and pizza has caused me to develop something of a belly. Lucie has informed me she wants the belly gone. She says she doesn’t expect six-pack abs, but does expect a flat belly. She even sent me a workout schedule and told me to consider it a task and it’s not optional.

To start, it was all aerobic with three days of running and two days of cycling with gradually increasing distances for both. But she added some weight training to the mix after the second week ended. I’m happy to do what she wants; even grateful she has taken an interest in helping me drop some weight and get fit again. Since I haven’t had the motivation to lose weight and improve my fitness lately, I appreciate that Lucie is now providing me some motivation. Fair is fair since I neglected to put forced exercise on my hard limits list. 🙂

Anyway, after less than three full weeks, I have already dropped a few pounds and lost more than an inch around my waist. Based on experience, getting rid of the beer gut will take some time. It seems belly fat is always the last to go for me. But it will happen eventually. Happily, Lucie hasn’t taken my beer away completely, just made me cut back. And she says she won’t take the beer away completely as long as I continue showing consistent weekly progress. I’m also grateful for that. After all, without beer, what’s the point to life?

I find it hard to believe Lucie and I have been playing together for almost three months. Back in May, when I decided I wanted a virtual key holder again for a while, I expected to do a month, maybe two, and then to go back to self-locking. But, oh my. I’ve had the privilege of having had several terrific key holders. But Lucie is definitely in a class by herself. Honestly, I’m not sure I ever want to go back to self-locking. At least not as long as Lucie is willing to continue.

She has warned me from the start that there is only so much you can do virtually and sooner or later one or both of us will grow bored and we’ll have to stop. But I’m no where close to that and Lucie doesn’t seem to be either. The new fitness thing has given me a reason to hope that we will continue for the foreseeable future. That’s because it may not be optional for me to exercise, but it really isn’t just a task. It’s Lucie requiring greater commitment from me. Why would she want that if she was feeling bored? I dread the day it does end with us and being a realist, I know Lucie isn’t wrong. But after Lucie, I know I’ll never find another key holder that suits me so perfectly. I don’t obsess about it, but I hope Lucie doesn’t grow bored any time soon. I know I won’t grow bored with her. Like ever. She is that amazing as a Mistress.

permanent chastity

Life in Permanent Chastity Takes an Unexpected Turn

By Chaste on Sunday, May 21, 2023

Since my decision to enter permanent 24/7 chastity, I have worn a chastity device for longer and longer periods, removing the device only for the few minutes of time required for the occasional deep cleaning. But by the decree of Lucie (my current keyholder), my life in permanent chastity takes an unexpected turn.

During the two weeks we’ve been together, Lucie has quizzed me almost daily about how chastity makes me feel, especially after I’ve completed one of her teasing tasks. Today she informed me she is making a change because she feels the cage causes me to focus too much on my penis, which is the opposite of what she believes is the purpose of caging a man’s penis.

Misplaced Devotion

A part of the problem in Lucie’s view is that I have become overly dependent on chastity devices to overcome my weaknesses in controlling my libido. And she wants to transfer my devotion to chastity devices to her, where my full devotion belongs.

As Lucie explained, she knows me well enough now to feel confident that I would never cheat while locked because I’m so devoted to the device. And that makes her curious to see how I might behave when I must depend on my devotion to her to resist my urges for sexual stimulation and release. She feels that following her instructions, without the aid of a chastity device, to not to touch for sexual pleasure, masturbate, or have orgasms without her consent is a far better test of obedience and devotion.

The New Decree

Lucie told me early on that she prefers locked periods of between 14-21 days (except for special occasions like Locktober or to correct bad behavior) followed by spending 4 days (for 14-days locked) or 6 days (for 21-days locked) unlocked. That’s because she believes it is more sensible and healthy to allow the unrestrained penis to experience regularly the natural stretching that occurs during nocturnal erections.

Also, in her view, while she is technically acting as my keyholder, we are actually doing chastity on my terms, not on her terms, and there is not much of a power exchange taking place. Lucie admitted if we remain on our present course, she will soon grow bored and unwilling to continue. She insists on full control. She wants to make all decisions about when I’m locked, when I’m unlocked, and if or when I get to have orgasms, especially when she wants ruined orgasms. And that’s fair. Lucie also loves impact CBT and believes that isn’t a good mix with chastity devices because of the risk of injury. So, she wants me unlocked sometimes so we can do the things she likes most. Like torturing my balls.

I Agree

What Lucie shared shocked me a little at first, but the more we talked about it, the more I found I agreed with her. She has given me the exact experience I asked for so I can see her point that we’ve been doing chastity on my terms. I realize how reluctant I am to spend much time unlocked because I prefer wearing a chastity device. I even feel a little uneasy when I’m not caged. But I don’t want to lose Lucie to boredom and go back to self-locking or searching for a new keyholder. Our first two weeks have been the best chastity experience I’ve ever had, and I’m not ready to give it up.

So, the changes take effect tomorrow. Lucie will tell me to unlock and I’ll spend six days unlocked. After the six days, she will tell me to put a chastity device back on and I will spend my first period of 7-21 days locked, according to Lucie’s whim, and then spend time unlocked again. She told me not to count on a strict schedule as sometimes it could be fewer than 7 days or over 21 days. It will all depend on her mood and what she has planned for me. That means we aren’t only keeping the piece I find most important, “indefinite chastity,” but Lucie is intensifying that aspect. Now I will literally never know how long I’ll remain locked or get released.

My Chastity 90 Commitment

One thing won’t change for now – orgasms. Since I had already told Lucie about my commitment to Chastity 90 before our arrangement, she agreed graciously to allow me to continue my attempt to keep the commitment. I just won’t be allowed to wear a chastity device for the full 90 days. And once Chastity 90 ends at the end of July, she alone will decide when, if, and how I experience orgasms thereafter. I won’t just be able to choose to abstain.

It’s an Unexpected Turn but I’m Excited

I wasn’t sure how I felt about Lucie’s decree at first. But after a little time to process it all, I find the impending changes exciting. And I want to please her. Everything she explained was correct, and I knew it. I think I have become a little too dependent on chastity devices to do the heavy lifting for me.

While it is a tiny bit scary to contemplate doing so in practice, obeying Lucie without depending on a device for backup is a far better test of my obedience and devotion to her. Another plus to spending more time unlocked is it opens up a lot of other options for Lucie’s torturous teasing efforts and not only the CBT she loves (me, not so much). As an example, she could require me to perform actual edges, and she mentioned that. Up to now, I’ve only done edges with a vibrator against the cage. And doing actual edges is something I know drives me insane with desire.

Because of the changes, I will soon update “My Current Status” page. I’ll still publish the number of days locked, though the locked periods won’t be nearly as impressive. Also, I think I’ll add a second counter for days since the last orgasm.

The adventurous sort, I am always open to trying new things, which in part probably explains why I got started with chastity to begin with. So, while the way I’ve done permanent chastity in the past will change, I’m also excited to see where it takes my relationship with Lucie. Already I’ve felt increasingly devoted to her and eager to please. Now I wonder if these changes might make me feel more submissive (not my primary nature) to her and feel of the power change dynamic more intensely? I suppose I’ll find out soon and I’ll post an update when it seems warranted.

chastity keyholders enforced male chastity

My New Professional Chastity Key Holder

By Chaste on Saturday, May 13, 2023

I’m not one to brag, but you’re probably curious about my new professional chastity key holder. Okay, fine. If you’re going to drag it out of me, anyway, I’ll brag on her just a little.

How shall I describe my new key holder? Stunning, sassy, elegant, mesmerizing, fascinating, and smart. Oh… and impossibly sexy. She is an exquisitely European Dominatrix who offers remote keyholding as a side gig. She is also a self-professed sadist with a penchant for cruelty and has already proven it to my satisfaction. But when she isn’t being cruel, she is quite charming and has a great sense of humor.

My key holder is strict, but eminently fair. Her tribute requirements (rates) are more than reasonable, far less than I have paid for professional keyholding in the past. And she has been worth every penny. Also, she doesn’t insist you buy her extras from some gift list to prove your devotion like many professional Mistresses do. Frankly, if I sat and contemplated every fantasy I’ve ever had to compile a list of qualities for my ideal Mistress, she would surpass anything I could have imagined.

Self-Locked Versus Enforced Chastity

I’ve seen it said many times online that self-locked chastity is useless. It’s stupid. If a person with that opinion is defining “chastity” as merely role play or a kinky sex game, I agree. Someone wanting chastity because what they actually want is tease and denial sex play will not get that from self-locking. But what many people don’t understand, even people I consider knowledgeable about chastity and chastity devices, some of whom even practice it on a permanent basis, is this. Wearing a chastity device or making your partner wear one can be a part of a pleasurable sex game. But chastity and tease and denial can be separate things.

I don’t self-lock because I crave tease and denial even though I have enjoyed it in the past. Instead, I practice chastity because I’ve found curbing my orgasms and ejaculations offers me many transforming benefits. Benefits I consider more valuable than frequent 5-20 seconds of pleasurable spasms. Self-locked chastity isn’t useless, and it isn’t stupid if you practice it for reasons like that. But make no mistake. The chastity experience is completely different when there is someone else enforcing it. When someone else is in control—actual control where they make all the decisions, the dynamic differs vastly from self-locked chastity.

Sometimes You Just Want a Key Holder

Sometimes, even though I find self-locked chastity very meaningful, I crave the experience of having someone else enforcing my chastity. Someone else in actual control. It’s the power exchange I find attractive. My desire for chastity and my goals don’t change just because I have a key holder. I’m still not pursuing tease and denial or some other sexy role play game. It’s still the valued benefits of practicing chastity I’m after. So, sometimes, I seek a professional who offers remote key holding services for a welcome change of pace..

As I shared in a previous post, when I recently wanted to experience chastity enforced by a key holder again, I started looking for one. I’ve had many professional key holders, but it isn’t a stable business model. People move into it and then out of it for many reasons. So, I’ve found you often can’t get a key holder you’ve had in the past because they have moved on to something else and aren’t doing it anymore. This time, for me, was no exception. So, I contacted three new professionals who advertised key holding services and just before I was ready to give up and throw in the towel, my new Mistress responded. And I feel more than fortunate she did after only the short time we’ve been together. I am sure she is the best key holder I have ever had.

Why a Professional Key Holder?

Although I have never experienced it, I can imagine having a person you already share intimacy with as your key holder is probably one of the best ways to do chastity. But it’s not an option for me. I’m single and have been since my last relationship ended. And for now, I’m not looking to get into another one. That’s one reason I look for professional key holders.

Another reason is I find it satisfying having someone who has no emotional or personal stake in my chastity enforcement. They are more strict, which is something I find very exciting. Someone who doesn’t love you will never yield to pleas for mercy. The rules, conditions, and schedules are only those the key holder wants. And, the key holder can make up new rules as long as they respect the limits you revealed at the beginning. That all adds a psychological dimension I truly enjoy.

Why This Professional?

I didn’t choose my new Mistress just because she was the only one who responded to my inquiry. She had been my first choice from the beginning among the three I contacted. She has the most professional, comprehensive website I’ve ever seen. The professionalism and the to the point information presented had already begun earning my trust before I even spoke to her for the first time. Then, when we did talk, I discovered we shared similar philosophies on chastity and how it is best done. That sealed the deal for me. And believe me, I feel so lucky I found this woman.

After exchanging emails, we met for a video chat because she insisted on it. That was a first for me. With only one other exception, I’ve not seen even a photo of my past remote key holders. Most want to preserve their privacy. Given the state of the world, I understand that. And it seems only fair since I’ve remained anonymous to them. But my new key holder strives to make her services as personal as possible for her clients and believes they deserve to know what their Mistress looks like. What I wasn’t expecting was how impossibly attractive she is.

I’ve never looked for a remote key holder based on looks since I wasn’t accustomed to seeing them, anyway. And a professional key holder isn’t and will never be your girlfriend. It’s simply a professional arrangement, and that is all it will ever likely be.

Truly beautiful women can be a little intimidating for that reason alone. And when you add a level of authentic dominance that I literally felt coming through my phone screen, the intimidation factor felt pretty intense. It was a brief conversation where she allowed me to ask questions, and then she had me lock up and secure the keys to my device while she watched. And it did make things feel more personal.

So Far, So Good

Mistress continues to impress. She requires a daily check-in with a photo to confirm I’m still locked. But most professionals do that, although some require only a weekly check-in or do surprise inspections. She also provides daily ~~torture~~ teasing, even though our agreement didn’t promise it, and it has been far more than I expected. Best of all, from my perspective, she texts me several times each day to torment me.

You can get those same services from most professionals, but always at an additional cost above the basic chastity key holding tribute. Mistress has truly gone above and beyond, exceeding my expectations on every level. While we don’t have long conversations by text, I still find them meaningful all the same. The texts show she is thinking about me when she sends them. And they help me feel a chemistry is developing that could sustain a long-term keyholding relationship. I think she is having fun (mostly at my expense) and I know I’m having fun. She has made this the most enjoyable enforced chastity experience I’ve ever had.

I have never had an unpleasant experience with any of my past key holders, and I liked every one of them. But this experience has been something truly remarkable. And, of course, she is definitely making Chastity 90 far more challenging for me. But I’m all good with it. And I may not be returning to self-locked anytime soon.

chastity chastity keyholders

Indefinite Chastity

By Chaste on Saturday, May 6, 2023

I been thinking a lot lately about indefinite chastity, and the more I ponder the idea, the more I find I want to experience it.

Indefinite chastity is not an original idea I’ve come up with. I’ve read plenty of chastity blog posts and forum posts written by guys who are doing indefinite chastity even if they are not consciously aware of it or don’t know that is what they are doing.

Indefinite Chastity Defined

If you aren’t sure what I am discussing, here is a simple definition of indefinite chastity. It’s when a keyholder tells you to put on and lock your chastity device and then says you must wear it until further notice. End of discussion. The keyholder has imposed an indefinite ban on you having sex, masturbating, having an orgasm, and ejaculating. From my chastity travels around the web, this seems how chastity is done commonly between partners where one’s partner acts as the keyholder.

Fixed Term Chastity

The other popular way of chastity with a keyholder is the fixed term embargo. As an example, you must wear the chastity device for one week, one month, etc. There is a blog I follow curated by a dominant woman in a female led relationship. She requires her husband to wear a chastity device for six days and then unlocks him on the seventh and allows him to orgasm and ejaculate every week. She explains she adopted that schedule because if he remains locked for over six days without an orgasm, he becomes either depressed or resentful. So, going in, he knows how long he must remain locked. I suspect he then spends the intervening time counting down the days, hours and minutes, and the closer the end gets, the more desperate he becomes.

My Experience With Enforced Chastity

Since I have only had professional keyholders, the fixed term is the type of chastity I’m most familiar with, since that is how most professionals structure their services. You pay a fee for a week locked in chastity under their supervision, or a fortnight, or a month, etc. It works okay, but I want to experience indefinite chastity. There is just something about stepping out into the great unknown that excites me.

With indefinite chastity, when it will end and the keyholder will unlock you is a moot point. The term is indefinite. With a fixed term, you know how long you must stay locked. You have a goal. When the term is indefinite, there is hope that it might end at any time. Yet there is also the awful prospect that it might go on and on, stretching out into an orgasm-free eternity.

It’s not that I want an orgasm-free future where I may never have sex, mastubate, orgasm, or ejaculate again. That is the unthinkable, a life sentence of chastity. Having to endure such a draconian regimen might well be where madness lies. No time off for good behavior. No more negotiations. No more counting down the days until the cage comes off, and the ban is lifted. No more dreams of the mother of all orgasms. Just a bleak, endless future bereft of sexual release stretching out before you.

Is There a Professional Keyholder in the House?

My problem has been finding a professional keyholder willing to make my dream of indefinite chastity a reality. During the pandemic, when dominatrices could not offer in person sessions, professionals offering distance chastity keyholding were a dime a dozen. Cam, phone, or text sessions were the only way to fill the gaping hole the pandemic shutdowns knocked in their incomes. But now, with things back to normal, most of them have returned to plying their trade through the far more lucrative in person sessions.

Also, all the payment platforms and banks professionals once used to collect payments for keyholding and other online services now discriminate against sex workers. It seems the industry most known for wokenss and progressive spirit have no qualms about marginalizing sex workers. I guess they don’t deserve a seat at the intersectionality table. But I digress. The point is, it is much harder to find a good professional dominatrix for distance keyholding these days.

After spending considerable time this past week searching for a dominatrix offering keyholding, I found less than a dozen. I found a few more than that, but I discounted those who do not publish their required tribute amounts (their fees) on their websites. That is always a dead giveaway that they are insanely expensive. Half of those I found advertised fees that were, shall we say, well out of my price range. I saw fees ranging from $100 per week, for just basic keyholding to $3,000 for a month, with a few naughty pictures and texts thrown in. Of course, a professional dominatrix is within her rights to set her fees at whatever she feels the market will bear. I’m willing to pay a fair rate for what I want. But since I am not independently wealthy or desperate, I wouldn’t even consider paying anything close to those rates.

Narrowing the Search

Finally, I narrowed my search down to three professionals, all of whom specifically offered chastity keyholding services. All three offered their services for around the same amount. I’m sure I would be happy with any of the three, but ranked them from my first to third choices. Then I completed the obligatory forms on their websites to submit my applications. After submitting the form, then you sit back and wait for them to reply at their convenience.

I did not apply to all three at the same time, as I would never wish to waste anyone’s time. If I had done that and received a reply from my first choice, then the other two would have wasted their time replying to me. I applied to my first choice and waited. And waited. Five days passed by and no reply. Not that I think she rejected me. The initial form required didn’t request enough information to warrant rejection. It was only an initial inquiry about the services I was interested in. There are at least three explanations for the no reply. The person is focused on in person sessions and no longer offers distance keyholding but has not bothered to update her site by removing the offer of keyholding. The forms function on the website doesn’t work properly (more common than you might think) and she never saw my application. Or, her PayPal, Venmo, etc. account got cancelled, and she has no way to collect for online services anymore and couldn’t be bothered to reply to me with regret.

The Quest Continues

So, I filled in another form on the website of candidate number two. Same result. Another five days went by with no response. Then, I filled in the form at the website of contestant number three. That was yesterday, so it is too early to tell how that one will turn out. But I’m not feeling optimistic. If she doesn’t reply, then I will probably shelve the idea for a while. Many respected economists claim the economy will go into recession by the end of the year or early next year. If that happens, the in person session income will dry up again when horny guys will not have as much disposable income to finance their kink desires. And then, more dominatrices will probably be happy to take on distance keyholding clients again to pay the bills.

locktober

Locktober Strategies Revealed

By Chaste on Monday, September 19, 2022

The time draws nigh, looming, a cloud, a dread beyond. In twelve days, Locktober comes. So, it seemed a good time for Locktober strategies revealed, to help those readers who are standing at the precipice, gazing into the abyss, and screwing up their courage to accept the challenge of locking up their most prized possession for 31 long days. Whether this is your first Locktober attempt, or if you’ve tried it before but failed miserably, hopefully here you will find strategies that will help you succeed in 2022.

When it comes to self-improvement, two of the biggest stumbling blocks people encounter are a lack of motivation to get started and a fear that a goal will be too overwhelming. That stops many guys from trying or succeeding at chastity. That’s why a one-month challenge like Locktober can help tackle both issues. A thirty-one-day challenge feels doable—you can do almost anything for 31 days. And you can also use a 31-day challenge as an experiment. If chastity for a month enhances your life, you’ll create momentum that motivates you to use it to create more positive change. Here in this post, I’ll share with you my best strategies for making it to the finish line this Locktober.

Step 1: Decide to Succeed

It may sound obvious, but this is perhaps the most difficult part of succeeding.

During my chastity travels, I’ve had many conversations with guys who’ve told me they want to live the chaste life, but they never seem to make it happen. Why is that?

Because it’s tough to adjust to wearing a chastity device 24/7. Really tough.

In fact, wearing a chastity device for an entire month for the first time may be the most challenging and uncomfortable thing you ever do.

At first, this can be very scary.

Successfully completing Locktober means making some tough decisions. So, how badly do you want to succeed? What are you willing to do – and to give up – to make it happen?

Once you decide you will wear a chastity device for 31 straight days come hell or high water, suddenly, almost anything is possible.

Step 2. Learn to Embrace Discomfort

If you want to learn how to wear a chastity device 24/7 for an entire month, or longer, get prepared to say goodbye to your comfort zone. The very essence of growth in any difficult endeavor is to move beyond what you’ve experienced before.

You have to break new ground. And there will be discomfort, both physical and mental.

First, having a hunk of plastic or metal hanging from your junk doesn’t immediately feel normal. It takes some getting used to. If your brand new to it, you’ll probably have to deal with some chafing issues and some sore spots. Also, you will battle some very strong biological urges that all men have that evolution has programmed into us for thousands of years. Your body and brain will not be happy with your decision and will fight back. Expect the discomfort and then embrace it.

When I was a high school freshman, I went out for the football team, mostly because all my friends at the time intended to play football. I hadn’t played in junior high or in any Pop Warner leagues growing up. For me, football was a completely new experience, and after the first week of two a day practices, I hated it and decided to quit. Nervously, I went to my coach’s office after practice one afternoon and told him I wanted to quit. Frankly, I was scared to death because I saw him as a mean guy and feared he’d make fun of me. But I overcame my fear and went to talk to him anyway because I was that desperate. I wanted the discomfort to end. To my surprise, he was understanding and spoke to me with kindness. He convinced me he knew how I felt and why. Then he told me something I’ve never forgotten and never will. “If you want to quit, I won’t stop you. But you must understand something, son. If you quit football, any time for the rest of your life when you face a challenge, you will quit. You will be a quitter the rest of your life, and I don’t want to see that happen. You’re better than that.”

Long story short, he convinced me to stay on the team for one more week and if I still wanted to quit, he wouldn’t say another word. I agreed and something miraculous happened. During that week that I agreed to, even though I fully expected to quit at the end, I learned to embrace discomfort. I learned to embrace hitting other guys on the football practice field and getting hit. I embraced the soreness, the fatigue. And at the end of that week, I didn’t quit and went on to become a starter on my team for the next four years. I’m convinced that learning to embrace the discomfort made the difference. And, you know what? I’ve never quit a single thing in my life since.

Years later, I volunteered for an advanced military training course known for how few soldiers successfully complete it. On the first day, the instructor made us run five miles wearing our PT uniforms and running shoes. Nothing tough about that. At the time, I was running much further most days just for fun and fitness. But for this run, we also wore fully loaded seventy-pound rucksacks on our backs and carried rifles. At the end of the run, my feet were like hamburger and so were those of a lot of the other guys in my platoon. The next day, I could hardly walk wearing combat boots. But I never once thought about quitting the run that day or the course, even though things only got tougher after that run. That was because I’d already learned the secret back in high school football. I’d learned to embrace the discomfort.

Step 3. Get Help and Support

Guys who usually try Locktober and fail are those who try to do it on their own, self-locked, with no support. That makes it easier to get discouraged, give in to the discomfort, and quit. It makes it easier to rationalize and make excuses. That’s why you should consider getting help and support. But not every guy has a partner willing to act as his keyholder, or maybe any partner at all. No partner? No problem. There are professionals who will help and will hold you accountable for a nominal fee. And that can make all the difference in the world. I’ll offer two options here for professional help, people I can confidently recommend.

The first option is the Oxy-Shop Keyholder Service. I’ve used it and highly recommend it. A while back I posted a review for the service if you haven’t read it. Mistress Elena, who operates the service, is a consummate professional, and she makes it a fun experience. And best of all it’s so affordable, only $35 for the month. Do make sure you let Mistress Elena know you’re doing Locktober if you sign up so she knows not to offer you early releases.

The second option is pricier, but Goddess Summer knows her stuff and also offers more teasing than you will get with the first option. Tributes start at $75 (payable by Amazon.ca gift card). She also offers two other more expensive options with more teasing and interaction. Check out https://summerschoolforsissies.wordpress.com/2022/09/11/locktober-2022 for more details if you’re interested.

If you have no partner to support you and can’t afford or just don’t want to pay for professional keyholding, there is one free option where you can get both help, information, and support. No one will hold your key, but you will find other like-minded folks at Chastity Mansion who will offer their support and even answer questions you have as you navigate Locktober. You can sign up at https://www.chastitymansion.com/forums/index.php and membership is absolutely free.

Concluding Thoughts

Overcoming your natural male biological urges and completing 31 days in chastity is never an easy road. However, it doesn’t need to be an unpleasant journey. It can actually be both a fun and challenging experience that forces you to dig deep inside yourself.

It challenges you to change how you are and can help you become a better version of yourself.

The strategies presented here within this post can certainly help you along that journey. But ultimately, your success depends on you and how willing you are to make the necessary changes to succeed.

A Helpful Chastity Primer Heading Into Your First Locktober

pro-domme key holders professional keyholding

OXY Shop Monthly Keyholder Service Try Out

By Chaste on Wednesday, May 4, 2022

My one-month Oxy Shop monthly Keyholder service try out has begun...

Did you think I forgot my promise to try out the Oxy Shop Monthly Keyholder Service? Well, if anyone did, I can’t blame you. I purchased one month of the service back in February and had planned to start the trial on March 1. But stuff got in the way. First, I had several chastity devices to wear-test and review. Then, my annual check-up with my doctor came in April. She is a super nice, insanely attractive woman who I like very much and wouldn’t dream of springing the surprise of my male chastity lifestyle on unannounced when it comes time to drop your pants, turn your head, and cough. So, I always unlock for the hour or so I spend at her office. Then I procrastinated a few more days after that, and finally, I emailed the Oxy Shop on May 2 and told them I was ready to start.

Impressive Customer Service from Oxy Shop

I’m trying this remote keyholder partly to satisfy my curiosity about how well it works but also as a service to readers who don’t have a keyholder and might be interested in a month-to-month remote service. Once I complete the month, I’ll post a full review of the service with my honest opinions. But I’ll provide updates as the month progresses when I feel it’s warranted.

Things got off to a great start with my future review in mind when I received a quick response to my emailed request to begin. I emailed Oxy Shop in the late evening on May 2 and received an email from the supervising Mistress on the morning of May 3. I always appreciate good customer service.

How the Oxy Shop Monthly Keyholder Service Begins

In the past, when I’ve used remote keyholder services provided by Pro-Dommes, I’ve always used the plastic numbered locks and sent “proof of lock” images. Some require you to hold up a newspaper to verify the date in the photo. Then, they make unannounced checks by requiring you to send another proof of lock photo from time to time to keep you honest. The Oxy Shop service uses a slightly different system which I’ll explain later.

Frankly, I’m not too fond of the numbered plastic locks. Most of my stainless devices tend to rotate excessively when not secured with the lock provided with them by the manufacturer. And you can’t use them with most devices that use a MagicLock. Something that impressed me immediately about the Oxy Shop service is they give you a free stainless steel key safe and a supply of numbered plastic tags when you sign up for your first month. You insert your key into the safe and secure that with the plastic numbered lock, which leaves you free to use your usual lock on the chastity device.

Now, back to the system, the Oxy Shop Mistress uses for lock verification purposes. In the email I received from the Mistress, she required several things as proof of lock.

The expected image with the chastity device locked on. And she required I write a phrase on a sheet of paper and hold it up while taking the photo. Also, I had to hold up the key safe in the photo, showing the key inside was secured with a plastic numbered lock.
The Mistress also required me to send a video of me locking up. This is the first time I’ve ever had a pro keyholder who required that.

So, the keyholder at Oxy Shop requires a little more at the start than the other professionals I’ve used, but I didn’t find the requirements unreasonable. The only problem was I rarely make videos. While I know how to shoot videos with my iPhone, they are very large files, usually too large to attach to an email. And my simple one-minute video was far too large. So, I had to quickly learn about video compression and source an app to do it with. But, again, I didn’t find it particularly burdensome to make the video and then compress the file so I could attach it to an email reply. But wait, the periodic checks aimed at keeping you from cheating are also different from anything any Pro-Domme has ever required me to do before.

The Periodic Checks

Daily I must submit proof of lock photos while holding up a sheet of paper I’ve written other required phrases on (different each day) along with the key safe to show I haven’t tampered with the plastic numbered lock. And, every other day, I have to submit another video showing I’m still locked securely and that I haven’t tampered with the plastic numbered lock. Okay, it’s not particularly onerous, but that’s a lot of verification. During my thirty days of enforced chastity in February, my Mistress only required one image per week, proving I was still locked securely. And she required no videos.

So, if you consider using the Oxy Shop Monthly Keyholder Service, know that they are serious about preventing any cheating.
They also want control of both keys. But I found only one key fits inside the key safe they supplied. The instruction email from the Mistress said to secure both keys in the safe. So, I broke my spare key in half to render it unusable and included that in the video and the photo and hope that meets the requirement. It should since now the only key I have that opens the lock is secured inside the key safe with a numbered plastic lock.

The Mistress also explained in the instruction email that she “may ask” me for additional evidence I’m still securely locked at any time to prevent cheating. So, yes, they are serious. But I’m okay with all of it since it only serves to make the experience more interesting and I never cheat when locked for a Mistress, anyway.

More Fun Stuff

In addition to the keyholding, the Mistress ended the email by promising “a few” tasks during the month to keep things interesting. I’m curious to see what’s in store and how many teasing tasks she provides. I was under the impression the keyholder only offered one teasing task per month, but “a few” obviously means more than one.

I know I’ve been a little vague on a few points, which was intentional. I don’t feel it’s ethical to share any of the Oxy Shop or the keyholder’s proprietary information related to the keyholder service even when I write the full review. And I know from past experience with Pro-Dommes, that they don’t want you sharing specifics about how they do their business. That’s understandable because they don’t want Betty Lou setting up a pro keyholder service, copying their specific system, and maybe charging less for it. So I intend to respect the rights of Oxy Shop and the Mistress to their proprietary work product by painting with a broad brush rather than publishing detailed instructions I receive. But I will give readers enough broad information to make an informed decision about the service’s usefulness and whether I think it’s worth the cost.

If getting a professional remote keyholder at a very reasonable price is something that interests you, stay tuned for future updates and expect a full review of the Oxy Shop Monthly Keyholder Service the first week of June.

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