31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 15: Fidelity

Let me start by saying today’s prompt isn’t applicable to me. So, no, disloyalty hasn’t played a part in chastity for me. The prompt is aimed more at those in a committed relationship with a partner who shares the chastity journey by acting as a key holder. That isn’t something I’ve experienced, but I think the questions above are worth talking about.

Infidelity, the subjective feeling that one’s partner has violated the rules of the relationship. The first thing mentioned in the prompt under the heading of fidelity centers on cheating, being unfaithful, having an affair. I actually don’t see wearing a chastity device as the answer to unfaithfulness that has already happened for two reasons.

First, unless there is a piercing like a Prince Albert involved, no ball-trap chastity device will prevent a guy from having sex with someone outside his relationship any more than it will make masturbation impossible. It’s always possible to escape from these devices without the extra level of security from an incorporated piercing. Tools aren’t even required beyond a good amount of lubrication and the desire to escape from a cock cage.

Those of us who want a key holder to enforce our chastity stay locked because we want to be locked. I’ve only read one non-fiction story about someone whose partner insisted on chastity because the guy had been unfaithful. And it was a full-on steel chastity belt, not a ball trap cock cage. And according to the guy who shared the story, that worked. Now to the second reason.

There is nothing magical about a chastity device. One thing a device won’t do is fix a bad relationship. Chastity might help improve or strengthen a relationship where things have grown a little stale. But infidelity, as in cheating on a partner, suggests there is a problem far more serious than putting on a chastity device will fix. Along the same line is the idea of a partner locking up his or her partner in a chastity device so they can feel confident their partner won’t cheat on them isn’t the best perspective. That shows a lack of trust between the partners, whether or not justified, and again an issue a chastity device will probably not fix.

Still, in a relationship where infidelity hasn’t been a problem, chastity might help prevent it from becoming one. Once a partner locks their man in chastity, he tends to focus almost exclusively on his partner as the one holding sole control over his access to sexual pleasure. So, chances are, he won’t be looking for opportunities to have an affair.

Now let’s look at the other form of infidelity mentioned in the prompt, unauthorized masturbation. Some people may consider masturbation, especially excessive masturbation as cheating and a violation of the rules of the relationship. This is especially true if the frequent masturbation by the male partner becomes a barrier to sharing intimacy with his partner. I’ve had partners who saw masturbation as cheating and partners who didn’t. But the truth is most women in relationships with men have no idea just how often their partners masturbate. Even when they know he does it, they don’t usually know how often. Masturbation is not something I think most couples discuss much at all. I’ve only had one partner who was very open about talking about masturbation. She knew how frequently I did it and was very open about how often she masturbated. But getting back to the prompt, for those who consider their partner’s masturbation habits cheating or just excessive, chastity can be a tool to control a male partner’s masturbation frequency.

While the same escapability issues remain in play, at least from my experience, wearing a chastity device helps me control my masturbation urges. Yes, I could cheat and without even breaking out of my locked device. I can easily orgasm and ejaculate just by holding a powerful wand vibrator against the cage. But I don’t escape from the cage or use a vibrator to circumvent it since pleasing my keyholder is more important to me than having sexual pleasure without permission. It doesn’t mean I ever stop wanting to have orgasms. I just don’t want to compromise the trust with my key holder because once trust is broken, you rarely can get it back. I’m content to wait it out and suffer as necessary until my keyholder decides to allow me to come. Truthfully, that makes an orgasm even more intense when you get one because your key holder wants you to come and allows it.

That’s my take on infidelity and unauthorized masturbation. You may have different opinions, and that’s okay. We’re all unique. Hope you will return tomorrow for 31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 16. Here’s tomorrow’s prompt:

What are, for you personally, the most difficult aspects of having a lifestyle or relationship that involves chastity?