31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 17: It’s Not Like That

Thinking about all the misconceptions about chastity I’m aware of, the hard part was narrowing this post down to just one of them I would most like to clear up. I settled on the misunderstanding that male chastity is about emasculation.

It’s true that we have a major masculinity problem in the world today, especially in Western countries like the United States. That’s because of a narrative that some have pushed for the past several years that equates masculinity with violence and toxicity. I’m sure those who created the narrative probably had good intentions. But by branding masculinity as a negative and demanding that men become less masculine and adopt more feminine behaviors has created more problems than it has solved.

We now have an entire generation of men who don’t understand what it means to be men. Men have forgotten the practice of chivalry. They have forgotten that enjoying sexual pleasure with another human being is special, intimate, and sacred. Instead, sex has become simply the means for satisfying our basest hedonistic urges.

Also, we live in a time of instant gratification, where many men believe pornography can fulfill all their sexual needs without the drama of having a relationship with another human being with their own set of needs and desires. Fictional characters on a device screen are replacing genuine connections and authentic relationships.

There are many men today who lack the basic skills to talk to women and the courage to seek a woman to date. The incel (involuntarily celibate) community is but one example. Members of this online community of mostly young men who consider themselves unable to attract women sexually, turned to the internet seeking support from others with similar views. Typically, incels feel marginalized by women and feel resentment and hostility towards women and sexually active men.

This is a problem, because the war on masculinity has created a generation of men lacking inner strength, confidence, and self-esteem. Women rarely feel sexual attraction for such men, so communities like the incels become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Recently, I’ve read dozens of articles and forum posts written by liberal women identifying as feminists complaining about how difficult it is to find authentic masculine men to date and have relationships with.

Many people assume (incorrectly) that men who want to wear chastity devices locked on their genitals and to submit complete control over their access to sexual pleasure to a partner desire emasculation. They are beta males who not only want to assume a passive, subservient role in their relationships. They also want their partner to feminize them. This actually has nothing to do with chastity or, for that matter, with being a submissive man.

You can desire chastity enforced by a partner and still be confident and full of inner strength, self-esteem, and confidence. Lots of men who want to wear a chastity device run their own profitable businesses or hold leadership positions at work. Even being a naturally submissive man in chastity doesn’t mean you must surrender your masculinity.

I would like to clear up the misconception that desiring chastity equates to a lack of masculinity in every case. This misconception isn’t only present among the general population outside the chastity lifestyle. I have met and talked with many dominant women within the kink world who assume every guy interested in chastity also wants forced feminization, small penis humiliation, and cuckolding. That’s simply not the case.

Yes, some men who embrace chastity want their partner to feminize them. Some want to be full on sissies who fully adopt feminine looks, clothing, and behaviors. There are men who wear chastity devices who want their partners to cuckold or degrade them. But these men represent only subsets of the larger population of men who desire chastity. Of course, there is nothing wrong with exploring any of those kinks or fetishes. I only want people inside and outside the chastity lifestyle to understand and acknowledge chastity means something much different for many of us, probably most of us, who embrace it. Don’t assume to know what I’m about or want until you make the effort to get to know me as a person.

We are living in a time where the world needs strong men, especially emotionally healthy men. Men can learn to do masculinity properly, men who respect women, and respect themselves. Men who aren’t slaves to their libidos and who have learned to tame their sex drive and use it for more productive pursuits. That’s what chastity does. And that’s what I wish more people understood.

Tomorrow’s post, 31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 18, examines “going back” and I’ll discuss this question:

Could you (or your partner) ever go back to a relationship without some form of Chastity?