31 Days of Chastity Day 18: Going Back

At first glance, I felt today’s prompt had no real relevance to me since I’ve never had a relationship with a romantic partner acting as my key holder and accompanying me on my chastity journey. I’m sure I needn’t remind regular followers of this blog that my relationship with Lucie is not a romantic one. She is a professional chastity key holder and enforces my chastity in return for financial tributes. As I’ve explained many times, this is the type of chastity relationship that works best for me, at least under my current circumstances.

Still, I follow so many blogs curated by guys whose wives are their key holders, some of whom who are part of an actual female led relationship (FLR), it isn’t difficult for me to imagine what it might feel like if I was part of such a relationship.

All the guys who write these blogs were in their present relationships long before chastity became a part of the relationship dynamic they now share with their partners. Their relationships didn’t begin as an FLR or with them wearing a chastity device. So, I can say without equivocation, if I were a part of an FLR or even a relationship that wasn’t quite on that level, where chastity played the important role that I would want it to, I would not want to regress. I wouldn’t want to go back to the way things were before we introduced chastity into the mix.

Of course, as the saying goes, “It takes two to tango.” It’s rarely, if ever, only up to the guy wanting chastity whether it continues permanently. His partner also gets a vote. I’ve also read blogs by men where a wife or other partner has eventually tired of chastity for one reason or another and doesn’t want to continue it. So, I know some guys have already faced this situation where, whether they wanted it or not, chastity stops being part of their relationship.

In most of these cases, it has seemed to me their partners soured on chastity because these guys had unreasonable expectations for their partners to become something they weren’t and to behave in ways that more closely aligned with the chastity fantasies of these guys than with reality. In such instances, I have usually come down on the side of the partners involved, understanding why they didn’t want to do chastity anymore. Still, given the passion I feel for chastity, I can’t imagine ever being happy having to go back to the pre-chastity days of a relationship after finding chastity so satisfying.

Assuming I loved my partner, I also can’t really imagine ending an otherwise good relationship with a woman just because she didn’t want to continue keeping me in chastity. I only know I would hope I never faced that. And I would feel motivated to make chastity such a great experience for her she would never want to give it up either. Yet I learned yesterday that I am facing a situation now that sort of made this prompt much more relevant for me. Soon Lucie and I will part ways, at least as far as her being my mistress and key holder.

Since she hadn’t brought up NO-vember, the next monthly chastity observance that begins the day after Locktober ends, I had to ask her about it because my curiosity got the best of me. In response, she said she had to tell me something she knew I wouldn’t want to hear. Continuing, she told me that at the end of Locktober she needed to take a pause from keyholding to recharge her batteries and focus on other things.

No, as Lucie surmised, I wasn’t happy hearing it. We’ve been together for well over five months now and I have never had such an amazing relationship with a key holder. But Lucie’s news didn’t come as a shock. A while back, when we were discussing the possibility of making things more permanent, Lucie admitted there was something that gave her pause about the idea. She said she had in the past tired of keyholding and had stopped for a while, and she felt sure she would someday get bored with it and would stop again. I appreciated her candor back then, knowing that she cared enough about me she didn’t want to make me suffer disappointment unnecessarily. So, I have been mentally preparing for this, knowing the day would probably eventually come when Lucie would step away from keyholding. And now it has.

I can’t deny I feel sad about losing the best key holder I’ve ever had. But of course, I wouldn’t want Lucie to continue just for my sake knowing she feels she needs a break. I’ve felt burned out before and understand completely. I will just appreciate the memories Lucie has given me and wish her the best. She has now kept me locked and denied longer than any other key holder I’ve had, and that’s special to me. Things have been so good with Lucie that I’ve realized I am now ready to embrace permanent chastity with the right person. But unfortunately, that person will not be Lucie.

I am, in a sense, facing going back. Going back to the time before Lucie. Maybe this is even harder because there is no previous relationship with Lucie to go back to. Ours began and will end with chastity. Afterward, there will be no relationship. Honestly, I’m uncertain where I’ll go from here. Probably back to self-locking for a while and contemplating whether to seek another key holder. There are other women, pro key holders, that I’ve noticed recently and two of them I could easily imagine being my key holder. But Lucie will leave behind some big shoes to fill.

Can you believe we’re eighteen days into Locktober? How are you holding up? Remember, it’s all supposed to be about good fun and the challenge. Whether you’re thriving, just barely holding on, stay naughty but nice. We’re on the final stretch. Hope you will tune in tomorrow for 31 Days of Chastity Day 19 when we’ll take a look at this prompt:

Are there any unexpected ways Chastity has improved your life? If so, what are they?