Life experiences, the people you surround yourself with, education and learning, and changing roles can all produce changing perspectives. Today, on 31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 23, we are looking at how chastity can change your outlook on life.
Since you first developed an interest in Chastity, has your outlook on life changed? Are these changes good or bad?
Before developing an interest in chastity, I was a slave to my libido like many men, probably most men, if we’re being honest. My life essentially was having an orgasm and ejaculating, going two or three days, and having an orgasm and ejaculating again. Then the cycle continued.
By today’s standards, I suppose I was a late bloomer since I was 18 and in the military before I had sex for the first time, with a girl I met in a club one evening. After that first time, I made up for lost time. I definitely preferred having orgasms and ejaculating while having sex over masturbating. By the time I was 20, I had already had more sexual partners than Taylor Swift, and that’s a lot. I’m not bragging. I’m actually not proud of it and only remember the number of women because I thought that was awesome back then. What a stud, right? No, I was just a selfish jerk. I didn’t have real relationships with any of those women, I just used them for sexual gratification. Most of those sexual experiences were one night stands. That’s nothing to be proud of either, much less to brag about.
Just before turning 22, I got married and was in my first long-term relationship with a woman. The marriage eventually failed and I divorced. Then I went right back to having sex with women the way I had between the ages of 18 and 20. I had become more likely to get into relationships by then, but the relationships ended pretty quickly so I was still having sex with a lot of women. That’s because my life still revolved around that two or three day male libido schedule. And that never changed much until I developed an interest in chastity. Chastity completely changed my paradigm. It totally changed my perspective on women.
The biggest change of perspective for me is I no longer view women as just sex objects who can give me sexual pleasure. I have never once abused a woman ore treated one with disrespect. I have loved women my entire life, especially once I discovered for the first time that women have something between their thighs that can make me feel so good. But now I can admit I’ve mistreated many women by using them just to satisfy my selfish desires. Again, that’s nothing I am proud of.
For much of my adult life, I didn’t care about women’s needs, desires, or pleasure. I wanted them to orgasm when I had sex with them, but only because it made me feel even more like a stud when they did, especially when I was with women who wanted to keep going even after they had multiple orgasms. It was only another facet of my selfishness. I didn’t actually care about their pleasure. Even their orgasms were for my pleasure.
That’s all changed for me now, thanks to chastity. Don’t misunderstand. I still love women. I still desire having sex with them. And I still enjoy having orgasms and ejaculating. But I’m no longer a slave to my libido. And I sincerely care about a woman’s pleasure far more than mine.
Once we became close, Lucie began sharing with me about her sex life. And she has a lot of sex, especially on weekends. While she has a boyfriend in real life, she is in a non-monogamous relationship and keeps him locked in chastity so she doesn’t have sex with him. She has sex with other people, a lot of different people, and she enjoys telling me about it. It’s not that Lucie tells me because she thinks I’ll feel jealous because that isn’t the sort of relationship we’ve shared.
She enjoys telling me about her sexual exploits to make me horny when I can’t do a thing to get any relief. It’s just part of the teasing. But it took Lucie a while to realize something. Sharing her exploits doesn’t exactly get the response from me she was expecting. Yes, it makes me horny listening to her stories, but that’s not all. That’s because I get vicarious pleasure from knowing Lucie is getting sexual pleasure, even though I’m not. Her sexual pleasure is far more important to me than getting pleasure myself. I knew she had finally realized it the day she first acknowledged she was actually coming for both of us.
I feel joy knowing Lucie pursues her pleasures and desires, and I feel no resentment. I fully support her. Even if we were together in a romantic relationship, I wouldn’t feel any jealously over her getting her sexual needs met by others.
Sometimes I wonder if chastity isn’t just the way I pay penance for the way I used women in the past for selfish sexual gratification. If so, I have no problem with it. I’m just glad I developed an interest in chastity and that it taught me to champion women’s pleasure unselfishly instead of focusing on satisfying my own desires for sexual pleasure. Who knows? Maybe someday I’ll have a woman in my life again, one who I will give me the privilege of treating her the way she deserves.
For 31 Days of Chastity Meme Day 24, I’m sticking to the partners theme reflected in the prompt. However, since the prompt is aimed at those who have a romantic partner as a keyholder, it doesn’t apply to me. Instead of the original prompt, I will respond to this one instead tomorrow.
What qualities do you look for in a keyholding partner?
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Talking to my neighbor who is a retired professional firefighter. He is the stereotypical macho fireman. He was lamenting to me how he and his wife hadn’t had sex for over three months. In my pre chastity days I would have felt a little bit sorry for him, but now I am thinking this is probably his own fault. I also came close to spilling the beans about my chastity and how it is improving the relationship with my wife. When I came back inside and told my wife about his issues, she said, “he needs a chastity cage.” She said it before I had gotten to that point! Chastity has changed both of our perspectives.